Life can bring us through many changes, but it’s alright. As long as we never give up, it will always be alright.
It’s funny how each time I set out to grown and become a better human at the very same moment things start to fall apart or begin to go wrong and the task that I’ve started for myself gets derailed. I dont know about you, but this always seems to be the process for me. But It’s gonna be alright. I will never give up and it’s gonna be alright. I just keep holding me head up high and pressing forward.
Weeks 1 and 2 were pretty much like cake walks for me. However week three started off with lots of things out of order and the feeling of things not being balanced started to creep in. I have to admit that this threw me off for a minute. i was focusing on things that had nothing to do with my 30 day goal and as a result all the work I had built in the last two week was no in jeopardy.
It reminds me of passage in the Bible were Nehemiah had been commissioned by God to rebuild this wall. As he started things went well, but right before he was to complete the task all sorts of things started to pop up and try to distract him and even prevent him from completing the work he needed to do.
The passage speaks of three men who were trying to get him to leave his work to come meet them in another area, far away from the area where he was working. They told him they had information that involved him and he really needed to come speak with them, so they could come up with a plan to stop what others were saying about him. However Nehemiah knew these men only wanted to do him harm and in fact they were the ones creating all the drama they claimed others were doing. He told them that he had work to do and ask why should the work stop to come down and speak with them. He never met with them and all they said would happen to him if he didn’t meet with them never came to pass.
So I looked at the all the distractions going on around me.Each and every thing presented before me in pretty packages that were nothing more the people, places and things doing all they could to prevent me from completing the task I set for myself during this 30 days.
Once I put all things in their place and dismissed everything before me that had no place, things went right back to normal. Once I said “NO” to all of it that was the end, I was not going to allow myself to be pulled away from bettering myself. As a result so many new doors and opportunities opened up for me this week. So many blessing came my way from friends in my life. Had I been focused on the other stuff I would not have even been available for the things that were truly for me.
Sometimes we feel as if our world can be so upside down and it even seems that there is nothing we can do about it. But the hero we are looking for, the person we are waiting for to rescue us has already arrived. This person is ourselves and all we truly need to do is to call upon the strength, courage and wisdom that is already inside of us to get through whatever it is that’s before us.
On Friday I had to tell someone that it was time to move on. I told them it was too painful to try to be their friend. Our journey’s were very different and there was no more to say, nothing else to explore. There were too many changes, so it was just meant to be. I told them it had nothing to do with them, but everything to do with me.
This gave me the courage to let go of other people who are in my life simply holding space. I’m no longer available to listen to the same crap over and over again. I no longer have space in my life for people who simply want to blame others for the shit in their life they refuse to deal with or for the drama and bullshit they create. I’ve got absolutely no regrets, I dont feel sorry……I just cant do it anymore. It’s time to move on.
We’re the one we’ve been waiting for. We can make things better. We just have to reach deep inside ourselves and turn things around.
Saturday I had the chance to see my brother whom I’ve not seen since 2008. We hung out for a while and it was actually nice. I went to concert at Club Nokia at LA LIVE and came home to discover that I’ve been asked to photograph an event this week.
Sunday (today) I slept late, had breakfast with a new friend, put my flowers in a vase, walked Dodger, then hit the farmer’s market. I picked up some sage and 3 bunches of collard green, tomatoes, green beans and much need sage. My friend Gln and her friend Ren came by to drop off a much need futon frame with the added bonus of wine glasses. Cant wait to break those in.