Project Kengikat

Friend Friday

// May 29th, 2010 // Uncategorized

Friday started out pretty awesome. I got up early to do the walking thing with Dodger and then home to make some coffee, take a shower and get ready for my day. The walk was great, but when I went to grind beans for coffee, I was all out. I was all set to head out and get some coffee from when I started to fill a pain in my chest. It was pretty sharp for about 15 seconds. So sharp it made me hold on to the side of the table to brace myself from falling. This is when I put three gas tabs in my mouth and hoped the pain would not return. Sometimes I get some bad gas I feel as if my chest will just explode, this is when the gas-ex comes in handy.

I decided to skip going to get coffee and I looked at Good Morning America drinking some water while sitting on the sofa with Dodger on my lap. We like to watch Robin in the morning. I don’t know why, we just do. It wasn’t long before Dodger was snoring and I was fast headed in that direction too. We would settle for Good Morning America and Ms. Robin watching us instead.

The sounds of Regis and Kelly woke me up at 9:40AM and once again the gas was back. This time it was really painful and the fact that Dodger was on my stomach was not a good thing. He woke up looking at me like “make you stomach be quiet, I am trying to sleep.” I began to get up and he ran for the back of the arm chair. This time I drank some whole milk. I knew that would do the trick very fast, but I was going to have to pay for the smell. A few minutes after drinking the milk, the pain was gone.

Dodger and I did our second walk and this time I stopped to get some beans, however I left what little money I have at home, so once again there would be no coffee for me. While I was walking with Dodger we bumped into his little friend Fred who is an older dog that live about four blocks away. He is a huge dog, but he is old, has had three hip surgeries and has the “my hip is killing me” walk to prove it. Dodger loves Fred. It’s almost like Dodger knows Fred is old and not doing so well, because he is so gentle and sweet with him. This is awesome for me cause Fred has one hot ass owner.

Seth is an older guy, oh snap, I guess since I am now 41 I cant really say that anymore right? Well he is older then me, but had the body of 19 year starting QB, but the sexiness of the mature well traveled, be there, done that kind of guy. He is much taller then me, about 6′3”, awesome green eyes, great smile, big supper white teeth and I smile anyone would love to see. He is also gay, single, loves light skinned black men, HIV positive (over 21 years), he is a writer, loves photography and does a boat load of charity work. I guess I should tell you that I found all this out while we had coffee……at his place.

Turns out he is a coffee drinker too and while we were talking I was sort of rushing because I really needed to get home and get my little bit of money to buy some freaking beans so I could have some damn coffee. He asked what was the rush and I told him, so he invited me up for coffee. I was not about to turn free coffee, plus Dodger loves his dog and I love looking at him.

The coffee was awesome, I had two cups and the conversation was so much fun. It was like we’ve known each other forever….ok that sounds like a really bad movie line, but really it was so easy to talk to him. Maybe it was because when I walked in I saw this awesome photography on his walls and right away I was pulled in. We talked about his community and charity work and so much else. It wasn’t long before I got a text and I needed to head out. Damn I was meeting with my good friend Ryan to go over things for my website and blog, it was already after 12:00PM. I am so glad he sent the text because I could have stayed there talking all day. I told Seth I needed to head out, we said goodbye and I walked home.

Once home I quickly jumped into the shower, got dressed and made sure I had some time to play with Dodger for a bit. I’ve learned that if I do this he will behave himself while I am gone. I played some jazz while I took a shower…Kamasi Washington. Can you say AWESOME.

My meeting with Ryan went well. It has been such a long time since we’ve had the chance to hang out. He is now married to the beautiful Moina, who is also my good friend and they are about to have a baby. I joked and said they should name him Kengi. For those of you who dont know, I met Ryan and Moina when I was homeless down on Skid Row, in fact they did the first HIV and AIDS outreach with me and Ryan did the very first official Unpluggin’ HIV with me down at USC’s 5P21…HIV Clinic. I have no idea why they call it that.

Anyway Ryan and I enjoyed lunch and cool conversation and then heshowed me how to do things on my blog and website that I have been unable to do. He created the website and blog for me and now it is time for me to learn how to manage it. In fact July my website renewal is due and I have no clue as to how I will pay for it. I might have to skip a month of bills in July in order to pull this off and then double up on payments in August. Basically this means I will be in the same boat I am always in….short on funds when it comes to my bills.

Lunch with Ryan was awesome and I walked away with the power to be more in control of my website and blog, plus Ryan gave me some awesome advice, tips and help with taking the website to the next level. The best thing was that I had the chance to spend some time with my friend. Sometimes life gets in the way and as humans we forget to make time for the people we really care about. Ryan and Moina are two people who welcomed me with open arms, they respect me and love me for who I am. They support my organization unconditionally and whenever I need them, they are right there. I’ve said this before and I am sure I will say it again, I have plenty of people in my life for one reason or another, but I have very few friends in my life and Ryan and Moina are truly my friends.

Back home I had to return some emails from some people who contacted me from AIDSWatch, I also had the time to send out some emails that I had been meaning to send to people I met while in DC. I got a check in the mail for this survey that I did online for $25 and I used that money to support my friend Jason, who I met in DC for AIDSWatch, for his AIDS LifeCycle ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles. I really could have used the money for something else, but I know all things will fall into place.

I got a SKYPE video from my friend Leah and right after watching it I gave her a call and we talked for a bit. She is someone who has walked into my life and forced all the laughter and joy on me. I hate every single minute I speak with her. She is always making me laugh, things fly from my mouth, my head and belly hurts, I cry so much when I speak to her and she always keeps me on the phone for hours. Just kidding, Leah is a great friend and like all of the people in this blog she is someone I love and respect.

Right as Dodger and I were about to head out, we got a call from Seth. SWEET!!!! He called to thank me for an awesome morning. I was very surprised because he was the one who offered me the coffee which saved me from being an grumpy old ass all morning.. We talked for a bit and then there was knock at the door. We said goodbye and I walked to the door.

I opened the door to a big box and right away my smile must have blown the mail lady away because she said “I guess someone is happy to get this box right.” I smiled even bigger and said “yes I am. Thank you and you have an awesome weekend.”

I knew who the box was from and I knew what was in it too. I was just so happy that it had finally made it. The main reason I was happy was not because of what the contents of the box was, but because the person who sent it to me is another one of my awesome friends. However this friend is someone I met through YOUTUBE. To be very honest I dont even know how we started messaging each other, but over time the bond grew and now she is someone I love and respect so much. Again, now I have met a ton of people through YOUTUBE and many act as if they know me or we have some bond, but all they know is my videos I put up. This is not so for this woman. She knows my heart, she understands just how much I care, how hard I work and she also knows that I am human, so doesn’t place all these silly ass rules and regulations for our friendship. In fact our friendship was never forced, it just happened. She makes me laugh, challenges me to think and to be a better person, she encourages me and when I am down she is right there to help cheer me up. I am talking about my awesome friend and sister Jacque. I was smiling the entire time I was opening the box.

Now I am on break from YOUTUBE, in fact I really don’t know how long or short the break will be, I just know that right now, YOUTUBE is in the back burner….to be very honest it is off the stove altogether. However after getting her box I almost made a video to thank her for what she had done, but instead I am including her in my blog and I have sent her some text messages as well.

The box was filled with awesome clothes for men and this time I will be able to use these clothes for guys who don’t always get clothes as part of my outreach. There are two guys who are larger sized guys and the clothes I get are for smaller men. It was so cool to open the box and know that because of the kindness of my friend I will be able to help some men down on Skid Row who are battling HIV. It felt so good to call and email the guys to let them know I had some awesome clothes for them. It also felt great to be able to help some of the smaller guys as well.

Jacque could have simply donated these clothes in the area where she lives or she could have just thrown them away, instead she called me and asked if I could use them, when I said yes, she said she would send them. Unlike many people she kept her word and sent them, without fail and without excuse. She saw a need and she wanted to help, she followed through and the result will lead to smiles on the faces of some pretty deserving men who are battling HIV down on Skid Row. Now Jacque lives in Texas, so this meant she had to box them up, take them to the post office and pay for shipping. It’s been over five months since someone here in Los Angeles, who drives by my house on their way to work told me “I have some tings for you” but has not once bothered to call, stop by and drop them off. I am laughing right now because this person says they are my “friend”

I’ve been doing community work pretty much all my life and I know how people like to say they will do things, but when it comes time to deliver, they are no place to be found and I better now ask what happened, because all hell will break free and I will end up being the bad guy. So now when people say they are going to help, unless they have helped before and have a good track record of keeping their word, I simply pay them no mind, so when they don’t come through, I won’t looking for what they said they would do. Furthermore I know not to ever take them at their word ever again.

I grew up being taught that my word is my bond, when I say I will do something I need to do it, or at the very least let the person know that something has come up and I can’t fulfill what I said I would and that I should do this in enough time that will not cause a problem or hardship. But I have learned that people say things only to look good in front of others, only to try to make me feel good or get me to believe that they give a damn. In over three years of doing my current work, I have learned that my organization will always be small and it will only be truly embraced by people who truly get what I am trying to do, the rest will be people just going through the motions or people who do things only later to remind of what they did…..like I have some how forgot or failed to thank them.

Right as I was taking pictures of the clothes and folding them down to go into the storage container my cell phone rang, I looked down but no information was there, I almost didn’t answer it, but I am so glad I did because it was yet another awesome person in my life……AND she too is one of my dear friends….AND I too met her on YOUTUBE. AUDREY was calling me back and it was no nice to hear her voice. She too is someone who I cant tell you how we started messaging on YOUTUBE, but once again I am so glad we did because she is such a awesome woman with such a sweet spirit and that smile will just melt you away. Audrey and I laughed and talked for well over an hour and I must say that I loved each and every second of it. She too is someone who knows the meaning of friendship and she demonstrates it to me daily. Awesome cards, sweet messages, cool comments and she always seems to send a comment right when I need to the most. I don’t even have to say a word, but here comes Audrey cheering me up. It was so nice to be able to spend that time talking and laughing with her, I wish we had more time, but I needed to get Dodger out again and then get ready for Jazz.

I’ve said before that Franklin and I hang out on Friday nights, sometimes Donald comes over to join us, but this time he wasnt feeling up to it, so Franklin and I made plans to go listen to the free jazz concert at LACMA, however when Franklin got here we changed our minds and wanted to see a movie. We walked over to the Archlight to the movie we wanted to see was sold out. We ended up having dinner and drinks at the Cat and Fiddle and then bake to my place where I baked some cookies and we laughed the night away. While at dinner I got a call from another lady who is an awesome friend AND yes she too is from YOUTUBE….Darlyana was calling, but I was unable to talk to her because I was enjoying some fish & Chips and a beer with Franklin. I did however send her a picture. LOL.

At around 11:30PM I called it a night and Franklin headed home. I gaveDodger a bath and then I took a long hot shower and went to bed. It was a long fun day that had some down points that I wont go into, but for the most part it was filled with high points and awesome time spent with my Dodger and my friends.

Real friends are so hard to find….I am so blessed to have an awesome circle of great friends who I love and respect so much. Thank you so much for making my Friday so awesome.