Project Kengikat

The Need To Be Right

// August 23rd, 2010 // Uncategorized

Sometimes I find it so hard to understand why people are the way they are. Why they do the things they do, but when I stop making it so hard, the simple answer is always right under my nose. Sometimes we tend to look for the hard answer because we want to really believe that must have some deep seeded reasons for why they are the way they are and many times the real reason is very simple.

No matter what I type on this blog or what I say on my vlogs, someone is going to do their best to correct me so they can feel like they are right. Someone is always going to say or suggest that MY EXPERIENCE is another way. The funny thing is that even if I type it or vlog it the way they want, they will still find a reason to take issue. Now I could spend all day wondering why this is or just simply understand that people like this are unhappy and no matter what I say or do they will still be unhappy, even if I go along with what they want, so and do things the way they want, they will still be unhappy. The reason for this is because they are not happy with themselves, so they run around doing all they can trying to make other people feel just as bad as they do.

I refuse to debate with people like this, I refuse to engage them, because at the end of the day, they will always need to be right and will make everything in their life about being right.

There are plenty of draw backs and downsides to being as open as I am about being formerly homeless, for being so open about being gay and HIV positive here on my blog and vlog. There are times when I wish I could simply walk away or not move forward. There are times when I cry and times where I am very upset and angry.

I knew that by me standing up for anything there is always going to be people who will come for me. I know that people hate me for being Black, for being gay and for being HIV positive. I know people hate me and think less of me because I was once homeless. But even with knowing all of this I am still not willing to squash who I am or allow my voice to be silenced. I refuse to be made to feel like I am not worthy or that my thoughts, ideas and contributions are not just as valuable then anyone else’s.