Project Kengikat

Be Well

// September 26th, 2009 // Uncategorized

I really have not done too much for my organization this week, I have not spent the normal amount of time that I do on making sure others are taken care of like I normally do. However I did do some work on the upcoming events that I have.

Sunday I got a visit from two people who have been so much of a blessing in my life and they are one of the reasons I did not give up when I was down on Skid Row, they are also the two people who helped me get my website up and going and they are also the two people who helped me with my very first HIV outreach way back before I even had a name for it. Had it not been for them, their kind friends and all the donations I go, the outreach would not have been possible. Ryan was also there when I did the outreach to USC’s HIV clinic, in fact, once again if it had not been for him the event would not have happened. Not only was he one of two volunteers, he also picked me up so that I was able to get the food and other items there.

Ryan and Moina came into my life right when God knew it was time. I was down on Skid Row and I was really getting depressed. Housing was at a stand still and I was also fighting for my things, there were bed bugs in my bed and there wasn’t one single morning where I didn’t find human waste in the halls and all over the toilets. There wasn’t a night that I didn’t see someone using drugs and drinking inside a building where I was supposed to be safe. A place where the AIDS Service Center was my only option and the place where the Gay and Lesbian Center said was my only hope.  I was in the heart of Skid Row and while there may be fancy, high priced lofts with fancy people living in them on the rim of Skid Row, it is simply not a safe place. There certainly aren’t many options and hope is the last thing that comes to mind. More like despair.

It was awesome to see them, it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, the last time was about twomonths before I got my apartment, so having the chance to see the both of them was so awesome. They are getting married tomorrow and they have been very busy getting ready for that, so our visit was short, but just the chance to see tow people who I know love me and two people who reached out their hands to me in love and respect in a time when I was so very alone, isolated and getting more depressed with each day, was so nice….no it was a blessing.

During the visit Ryan and Moina had a box with dress shirts and hygiene items for Do Something or Life Kits, thanks to this kind donation I was about to put together 15 Life Kits and 6 Do Something Kits. The Life Kits went to Bart at Being Alive, I had plans to give some to AIDS Project Los Angeles, but after not being able to make contact with the person I give them to and after another person did not show for the interview I had set and confirmed with him, I gave the remaining Life Kits to Bart while I was at the HIV support group.  The shirts that Ryan gave will be used for the next Unpluggin HIV outreach to the 40 residents on Skid Row in November when I will return with a holiday meal the weekend after Thanksgiving.

The other blessing is it is because of Ryan and Moina that I know Eric and Willow who are also two amazing friends and such a huge blessing to me and my organization. God said he will supply what I need and in these four people he has done just that and then some.

Monday I started my day with a bowl of Oatmeal and then I had a busy day, but right as I was about to walk out I got a box from my new friend Michael from Texas who had wanted to send things for the outreach down on Skid Row, but we were unable to connect, but just like I knew he would, he kept his word and sent the items he said he would. I sat the box on the table and headed out. I needed to make sure I was on time for my appointment with Tiana to turn in the final paperwork that I had been calling about but not getting called back. It was cool that I have the relationship that I have with her, because I was able to turn them in to her and get that part behind me and close the chapter on AIDS Project Los Angeles once and for all.

When I got back home I opened the box that I got from Michael and inside where these awesome clothes for my Unpluggin HIV outreach. I was really blown away buy what he sent. Michael is new in my life, but has been watching my youtube channel for sometime, he is now a member of POZIAM and on my friends list there as well as on FACEBOOK. The two of us have shared some really cool conversations and late night laughs on the phone. Michael is so funny and each time we talk I need to make certain I am not eating or drinking anything because it will be all over the place. He is just a funny guy. More then this he is real and what we’ve shared in the short time I have known him makes me smile each time I think of him.

I worked on getting a form letter ready to go in the mail asking for help with the outreach in November, but I really didnt get that done, I also started a letter for my friends who I know will support me in the huge effort to “be of service” to the residents down on Skid Row. I even went by and saw Yvette at the building and dropped off two bags of items for the one awesome woman who lives there. It was such a nice surprise to get a phone call from her the next day saying “thank you” for the items and then even have one of the guys join my blog network as well. This just send me a clear message that what I do, no matter how small it is or how insignificant it may seem to others, it means the world to the people I try very hard to love and respect and this is the very reason I will never stop doing all I can as long as God allows me to be here to help people.

Most of the week was about me and I haven’t taken more then a day for myself in such a ling time, so for me to spend about 90% of this week concentrating on me was very different for me. I made a clear choice not to allow my time at the gym to sidelined and I even said “no” plenty of times and I am not sorry for it. Bubble baths, reading my E. Lynn Harris book and bike riding were also things I made sure I made time for. I also went hiking two times this week and that felt great too.

Catching up with friends, sleeping late, not checking in on places where I blog, letting people know that I am not going to take their crap and even some planting and bible study too. In all it was pretty much a full week for me, with some parts of work thrown in.

Thursday was the main day where I spent a huge part of the day working and doing things for my organization. I spent two hours getting ready for what was supposed to be my interview for Conversations with Kengi, but the person didn’t show, I passed out Do Something Kits to a group of homeless guys who just happen to be gay and I had the chance to share my wisdom and insight with one of them. I almost let the fact that this person didnt show or call cause me to be upset and take on their issue, I almost didnt stay for the HIV support group. Notice I said almost. They were not going to get that power, because I wasnt going to let them have it. I thought to myself “KICK ROCKS” and I then laughed

I am glad I stayed for the group, because I had the chance to share my 90 Days of Loving Me journey that I am doing with these awesome from youtube and after the group I had the chance to talk with two guys and also be support to a guy who is dealing with some things pertaining to HIV, his doctor and the level of care he is getting. I wouldn’t even call it a level of care, more like lack thereof.

When I got home I was greeted with 12 nasty comments on my youtube channel and 3 nasty emails. One of them made my eyes tear because it came from someone I trust and love, how does the song go “one shot to your heart without breaking your skin, no one has the power to hurt you like your friends. Well I took that power back too. After a few tears I said “no” returned the email and moved on. I later got a call from my cousin who told me my Aunt was sick and this really put me is a low space, because this Aunt is very dear to me, thank God my friend called to snap me out of it and in no time I was laughing  and ready to call my cousin and that was awesome too. Please keep my Aunt in your prayers. Ask that God give her his peace whatever that may be.

I was really looking forward to this morning, Friday, because I had a date with my friend Krystal and I was so looking forward to this. Man was that fun. We hing out on 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica, she did some shopping and I did some looking, LOL, we both did some laughing and enjoed each others company. We ate lunch and sat in the sun and shared some cool conversation and while we did I also thought to myself what an awesome week this was and what a cool way to end it with my friend, my go to girl. Who would have though that I would have her and her husband in my life as two awesome friends? Certainly not me, but here they are and I am so blessed for it.

Krystal and I walked down the Promenade sharing more laughs and right as we said our goodbye and hugged we said we should have a beach day

“That would be nice. I can wear my speedo” I laughed

“No let’s not do a beach day” Krystal said back and we both laughed

I walked down to the Santa Monica Beach and enjoyed about 3 hours on the Santa Monica Pier, on the Santa Monica Beach and under the Santa Monica Pier taking pictures. It was time well spent and as I left the sand I smiled and thought to myself how much I really needed to take this time for me, not just today but all week long, because if I had not done this then the little things that tried to creep in to control how my week would come out may have stood a chance, but greater is he who is in me, then he who is in the world. HELLO SOMEBODY!!!!

I got home, took some fish out and then hit the gym really fast, once I got back home I made myself some dinner, fish, rice and peas and called my niece to see what was up. We started talking and she shared with me how cool her week was and even though people and things tried to get her to go off track she stayed on the right path and she saw where that only made people mad, but she said

“too bad, let them be mad, this is my life and only I am living it” she laughed

“That’s right. I’m fucking this cat..” and we both said “you just hold the tail” and laughter broke out

As I am sitting here trying this blog out I just read a comment on one of my youtube videos that I have deleted and now blocked the person. That will be the 10th time I have done that this week. 26 people from Facebook, youtube and in my life have told me how I should talk, how I should say things and when I should say them. Four Christians have told me that I am a sinner and going to hell. Six people told me that they need a break from me.

To all of this have only this to say

Blessings and be well.