Project Kengikat

No Doubt

// January 28th, 2010 // Uncategorized

I haven’t really felt like blogging much this week, although there have been things for me to blog about, I guess you can say that I have just been so busy trying to do my best to keep my head above water, that blogging has not been on my list of things to do. Or I should say it has not been high on my list of things to do.

I called some people in my life who say they are my friends to hopefully talk with them and maybe get some advice, direction or just to hear how things are going for them, but with each call I had to be content with simply leaving a voice mail and not having the call returned. So what do you do when people say things like “you can call me” or “I’m here if you need to talk” and when you reach out they aren’t there? For me I learn not to reach out to those people as much or not at all. I also learn what I’ve always known, only I can get me through the rough spots in my life. The only constant in my life is me, so therefore I must always rely on ME to get me through the good and the bad times.

Another constant in my life has always been my faith, for the most part it has been unshakable and very solid, but like all things in life I do have my moments where my faith is tested and I feel so very alone. However I always hold on to the fact that bad times cant last always and there is always a blessing in any storm. The trick is to just hold, keep the faith, reach beyond the break and don’t let go.

Time Warner Cable has once again charged my debit card for service I don’t have, T-mobile charged my card even after I said I only wanted to make a one time payment, but both charges sent me into overdraft protection and both can with high fees for using the overdraft. The city of Los Angeles just changed signs on the street where I part that use to be free of any meters or parking hour limits and once again I have a parking ticket that I must pay. It seems like once I fix one thing another comes, cloudy up my vision and causing tears to fall down my face. But in all of this, I must always remember to visualize the land while riding through any storm. I must see myself at the finish line and always believe that everything will always fall in line.

I’ve been wanting for about a month now to do another Sunday Dinner for homeless people. I created the Sunday Dinner a while ago in honor of the Sunday dinners I remember my Ma or Grandma cooking and how much time effort and love went into these dinners. I’ve tried to create this same feel and take the same time, care and put as much love into the meal for homeless people like the ones I grew up with. Each time I have done the Sunday Dinners the people who get the meals are always so happy and so thankful that I would do something like this for them, but because of my own situation I have not been able to keep up or even provide a Sunday Dinner in about two months.

Today I was a very different day. After getting some support from people on my YOUTUBE channel for the Do Something Kits for next months 3 year anniversary celebration, getting a call about a trip to Washington DC, another call about an online interview, a text message from my friend Tina letting me know she and Andy will also help with the supplies for Do Something Kits, I was smiling and feeling a little bit of relief, however I still have to nail down something for the residents down on Skid Row for my Unplugging HIV outreach. But I was happy to know that other things were falling into place.

Dodger was picked up today to go have his stitches taken out and while he was gone I was able to get the rest of my picture wall complete. I’ve been working on it since I moved here and with over 15 thousand pictures it has just been very hard to pick out pictures to put on the first phase of the wall, but today I was able to finish it. This was the very first time that Dodger was not with me, or then me going to the gym and while he was gone I must say that I had some Dodger withdraws. LOL. The place seemed some empty with him not here and his energy and spirit was really missed. SO when the lan line rang and I heard the voice of Lee letting me know they were back I was so happy.

I was able to visit for a while with Lee and share the pictures on the wall and even a bit about my organization. Let me just say that since being on contact with people from Animal Advocate Alliance the entire experience has just been great, this is such a solid organization filled with such solid people. Helen was great and both Phillip and Lee have also been awesome. If you live in the LA area and are looking to adopt or foster a great animal and want to go through a solid organization, then please consider Animal Advocate Alliance, they are simply great.

After visiting with Lee for a while she offered to leave a donation to help with my outreaches. I didnt look at the amount until after I had taken a trip to the gym, Dodger for his walk and fast call to my friends to see what time I should be ready to leave. When I looked at the check, all I could say is “thank you God” Thanks to the donation I will be able to do the Sunday Dinner for next month that I was going to have to change because I didnt have the money to do it. Not only will I be able to do the Sunday Dinner I will also be able to do a lunch meal as well.

I then had a visit from two people I care so much about and two people who have just been such a huge amount of inspiration for me. They were two of the coolest guys I have met through my Unplugging HIV outreach down on Skid Row. The called and wanted to take me to dinner in a way of saying thanks for what I do for them. My heart was so touched, because I never think to do things in order to get things or a pat on the back, I do it because I was raised not to walk away from a situation or person if I am able to help them in any way, so to once again have them want to do something for me was so humbling and such an awesome gesture.

They came by and we laughed and talked for a minute and then we headed out to get some grub. These two guys kept me laughing all night and I am so glad that I had the chance to spend some very special time with them. The laughs kept  going and the fact that these two men have overcome some pretty grim circumstances on their own life, it was such an awesome and wonderful experience to spend such a fun filled evening with them.

After walking back home and sitting for a bit, I walked them to the train with Dodger and then Dodger and I went for our evening walk. While walking I was thanking God for always showing up and always showing me his grace, mercy and favor. I wanted to thank him for sending people into my life to help be not only increase my faith, but also to show me that he is in full control and as long as I trust and believe I can move any mountain, not just move it, but blow it out the way. He always sends me people top remind me that I can do all things, as long as I trust him, I can LIVE the DREAM on Dr. King and BE the CHANGE that Gandhi spoke of as well as the CHANGE that most of this country voted for.

I always here people saying that Obama has so much work to do and that he has not done enough or how he is running this country in the wrong direction. Well I think it is very funny that people have forgotten that this country was screwed long before he even said he wanted to run for President and this mess will not be fixed over night. I also think people fail to see that CHANGE also requires hard work from each of us working to make CHANGE a reality for all. CHANGE requires each of us to think outside of self, it requires us to work in out own communities to make things better for all around us, not just for those who think like we do or share the same political affiliation. It requires each of us to give a damn about someone other then ourselves and be willing to work toward making things better.

When I hear people say that Obama has so much work to do I always ask them “what are you going to do?” CHANGE begins with me and you, it begins with all of us, not just Obama and his administration and all of us need to fully understand that this country needs hard work from each of us, without blame, withoutexcuse.

I was worried about so much and in the end God showed me that he is in full control and thanks to the favor of God and his might mercy, he sent lights into my life to help me keep CHANGE moving forward for the people I try so hard to serve. In the words of my friend Donald, “God will always send somebody”

So I wont allow what takes place in my life cause me to doubt God, question his favor or stop me for doing the work I have been called to do. I will not allow it to consume me and fill my heart with doubt and fear, because I know “God will always send somebody” and for this I am so thankful.