Project Kengikat

The Gift

// May 15th, 2011 // No Comments » // Cooking, friends

I woke up this morning and made my last package of instant oatmeal…well there were two, but I am a grown up and one package simply does not satisfy me. I love oatmeal, but this morning I knew this was the very last thing in my apartment I had to eat. I do have a box of corn meal, but nothing to mix with it to really make anything. I also have two boxes of pancake mix but no eggs, milk or oil to add to it. It’s not the just add water kind, so don’t bother to suggest this.

I do have some dry bean, so I let them soak and then placed them in the crack pot. I knew they would not be ready for dinner today, so I knew I was not going to be eating anything the rest of the day. The money friend were kind enough to send to me has been used on bills and food for last week.

My friend came over today and I know he is always use to me having something to eat while he is here and when I dont have anything prepare I can always order use something. Well today I had to tell him that all I could offer him was a glass of cold water. He smiled and said “I know what you mean man, this month has been hard for me as well. I had to walk the 6 miles to my medical appointment because I have no money for gas or the bus after paying my rent and bills.”

Right as he said that I was looking at bills on my table that are due this month, while in the back of my head thinking at least three more are coming.

He was here for a little while and then someone from YOUTUBE stopped by with his boyfriend. It wa sso great to finally meet the person whom I have grown to have so much respect for and really enjoy the message he brings on his channel. However it wasn’t until after my visit with them and my friend that I remembered I had nothing to eat for dinner.

I opened my cupboard hoping that I had missed a can of vegetables, beans or something, but nothing was there. I checked my crockpot but the bean were not ready to eat. I knew they wouldn’t be. So I took Dodger for a walk and once I returned I finished uploading my photos to Flickr and logged into FACEBOOK. Just as I did this there was three knocks at my door.

“Who is it?” I said. Since I had not buzzed anyone into the building and I know Franklin always calls before he comes by, I never open my door without asking who it is. However no one answered. Since no one answered I went back to doing what I was doing. A few minutes later I got up to get some water when I saw the trash needed to go out. I sat the bag by the front door and not long after I walked to take the trash to the bin.

When I opened the door there was a bag hanging from the handle and there was a note on the bag that read “God said to get this for you” Again not knowing who had left the bag or what was inside I took some care in looking in the bag, since it was plastic I could see there were cans in the bag and nothing that looked like it could hurt me or anyone else for that matter. I opened the bag to discover four cans of soup.

I looked around but the courtyard below and the passageway in front of me and the stairs above me were clear. It was quiet, just as it always is around this time on a Sunday. I walked back inside, closed and locked my door and sat the cans of soup on my table. I then walked to take the trash out.

Once back in my apartment I thought to myself, wow, who should I thank. So I knocked on my neighbors door and asked if she had done this, but her boyfriend said she was not at home and she is just not the kind of person that would do something like this, not even for herself. I knocked on another door and asked but they had no clue as to what i was talking about.

Was this some dream? So I walked back to my place and looked at the cans on my table and then said “thank you God” and enjoyed a bowl of soup for dinner.

It’s funny how I go out of my way to make sure homeless people or others in need have what they need in order to fell like someone cares, but these past few weeks it has been people who are not in my daily life that have gone out of their way to check on me and make sure I was doing ok. Friends from my youtube channel who have made certain that my needs were met and now tonight someone I dont even know made certain that I had something to eat.

THANKFUL.

Stay Focussed

// March 9th, 2011 // No Comments » // Animals, Chef, Cooking, Homeless Outreach, Me Time, friends, health

As I have said before here and even on my youtube channel, getting my final pay check from Tri Delta Sorority has been like pulling teeth. After several calls to the house director and several emails to the house president all of which went unreturned, I finally called an attorney who was more than happy to help me with this matter.

It’s really too bad that things ended this the way they did. As I have said before working for the girls was cool, but the house director was something completely different and to be honest I can see why she doesn’t stay at one job for more than 2 years. I was in the office when my attorney friend called her and she acted as if she didn’t even know who I was or what she was being asked, but she quickly changed her tune when she was asked for a number for her boss.

After spending far too much time dealing with this mess I came home and went for a very long walk with Dodger. Before leaving the my attorneys office, she reminded me that my health was something I needed to stay focussed on and not to allow this to discourage or upset me. I do have some money saved up, but I know it wont last long, so not getting my last check is really starting to bother me. However I did listen and hear what it was she was saying to me.

After walking Dodger I took some pain pills and reclined to take a short nap. I had not been sleep for an hour when someoneknocked on my front door. Dodger barking and running to the door made it hard for me to ignore it and go back to sleep. I went to the door only to see the smiling face of my friend Bradly and his two kids, they even had their little dog in toe. I totally forgot they were coming over.

He is very much aware of the situation with Tri Delta and had called to spend some time time with me just to take my mind off things. He also wanted to drop by some items for Do Something Kits. Since I had the help I opened the door to the closet where I keep the bins with the items in it and asked if he would be willing to help me organize them. He said yes and two hours later we were done.

I cant tell you just how much it meant to me to have a friend stop by to help me stay focussed on something else. It was also nice to see his kids and spend some time catching up as well as laughing. Before they left the girls asked if they could talk about me and the work that I do in their class when they return to school. I smiled and say “yes” and this is when they began to tell me what they would say. Now his kids are 9 and 10 years old, they know about my Sickle Cell, battles with cancer, my 29 months of  homelessness and even my HIV.

They talked for a bout 10 minutes and by the time they were done I could feel the tears about to fall from my eyes. I gave Bradly a hug and kissed them goodbye. When I closed the door the tears just came on like a flood gate had been opened. I could not even fight them or control them. The things they said were so kind and pure, to be very honest they were innocent and very raw at the same time. What made me cry was that here were two kids only 9 and 10 years old and they had such love, respect and compassion not just for me, but towards people in general. I was crying because I dont know many adults that have this. My tears fell even more when I thought of them growing up and the innocents about them is replaced by life and how it can change a person.

It wasn’t long before Bradly called to make sure I wasn’t crying for too long. I laughed when he mentioned it and he told me how much his kids as well as him and his wife think the world of me and what I do. He told me not to allow the actions of Tri-Delta and their director get the best of me. He reminded me that I am far better than that and what I do for people in need is far better then cooking for people. “God will always make a way for you Louis, he always has and always will. Trust this”

I reclined back and started to drift off when Dodger jumped into my lap and began to lick my face. Dodger always seems to find a way to make me smile, even when I don’t feel like it. He put his little head on my chest looking up at me, closed his eyes and began to snore. I laughed to myself thinking how protected and loved he must feel. I stroked his little body and said “I love you Dodger.”

Today was yet another day where I needed to kind my mind busy, so after my long walk with Dodger I made the rounds tostores to get some items to help round things out for the Do Something Kits. Once I got back home I walked Dodger again and then began to put the Do Something Kits together

In all I was able to make 26 kits, 9 of them are for women. It was so relaxing to sit on the floor and prepare the kits. I had some jazz music in the background and I even made time to make a youtube video. The sun had already began to set by the time I was done. I even had time to clean the rest of the closet out and thanks to my friend Tina and Andy I will be doing a Sunday Dinner this weekend for homeless people here in Hollywood.

As I started to clean up I was reminded of something my friend KoKo said to me about a week ago and that was no longer having that job will allow me far more time to do what I love to do. She is so right. While not having a job is never a good thing as far as income is concerned, but as far as my overall health and well being is concerned I know I made the right choice and I know that things will all come together and I will be just fine.

I refuse to allow some job to hold me captive or cause my health to fail me. I refuse to allow some sick woman cause me stress and I refuse to allow some little girls with no real world experience treat me like I am so dirty dead animal laying in the road. It’s funny how they said they loved me and cared so much for me, but that love and care is taken away when I do what is right for me, taken away when it comes to paying me my final check.

From here on out my focus is on my work and nothing else and just as my friend Bradly reminded me, God will always take good care of me, just like he has done my entire life.

Now let’s just hope and pray that my transsexual neighbor will not be fighting with her crack head boyfriend all night and I am able to get some much needed sleep and rest.

Chicken Salad Sandwich with a TWIST!!!!

// March 8th, 2011 // 2 Comments » // Chef, Cooking

It’s been a while since I’ve posted a Cooking with Kengi video and even longer since I posted a food blog. So after taking some time to go for a walk to calm my nerves after speaking to my former boss about my final check, I stopped at Trader Joe’s to pick up some things for dinner for the next two nights.

I had a taste for a BBQ pulled pork sandwich, but I know Trader Joe’s does not stock pork butt. Yeah, I could use a pork tenderloin, but the flavor of the pork butt is much better and I know my great grandma would get out of her grave and kick my butt if I made it using the tenderloin.

Once inside the store I knew it was getting late to do lots of cooking, so I decided to make a chicken salad sandwich, but I had one problem. I didn’t have any Best Foods Mayo and I was not about to experiment with some no name mayo. However I did recall this one time I used some Trader Joe’s Wasabi mayo for a party I catered and it was a hit.

I still really wanted to get other items so I would have food for dinner tomorrow and not have to make another trip. While I was trying to decide what I wanted for dinner tomorrow I saw some cabbage, so I thought I would make sausage and cabbage, but then I saw corned beef and I started to smile. I picked up some dark ale, red potatoes and baby carrots. This would go into my slow cooker to cook all night.

I grabbed some whole wheat bread and other items to make my chicken salad and headed to the front of the store. Just as I was walking up to the line, I hear someone call out my name, when I turn to look I see a face I had not seen in about 10 years. I smiled so big and walked toward her to give her a huge hug. We chatted for a while when these two little kids came up and said “mommy, daddy needs your help” She smiled at me and introduced me to her kids. This is when her husband walked up and right away asked “who is this”

I laughed, introduced myself, gave her my number and got back into line. I was not about to get in the middle of some man and his woman. Just as it was time for me to start checking out, the husband walks up to me to tell me that he was sorry. He said he was just a bit upset that his wife had been talking to some man he did not know and doing so much laughing and smiling. I said no worries, shook his extended hand, paid for my food and walked out the door.

It’s been a while since I’ve made this sandwich, but I am glad I did. The tang and sweetness was so nice and refreshing. The fact that I added sliced avocado and feta cheese crumbs made it even better. The Wasabi adds an added kick, but the candied crushed walnuts balance it all out.

I feel in love with cooking at  very early age, however I never thought that it would be such a huge part of my life for so long.My great grandma did catering and worked for private families, my grandma did the same. Grandmas catering was more high end and she also lived with some high profile stars. I use to love watching her cook. Whenever I would ask how to make something she would simply tell me to sit down and learn. I wasn’t allowed to ask questions, only watch. Later she would ask me to help just to see if I was paying attention. The first time she let me do all the cooking was so much fun and when I saw the big smile on her face I knew I had done it right. She simply smiled and said “that’s my grandson.”

Cooking was a big part of my life for a very long time and today it is a big part of my community work, so in many ways I have been able to blend my passion into my NIA-purpose. Even though cooking is no longer the way I take care of myself, it still is the way I take care of others and make them smile.

My corned beef is smelling good already, so I cant wait to sit down to dinner tomorrow to enjoy it. What did you have for dinner and what do you love abut cooking?

Hot Saturday

// March 5th, 2011 // No Comments » // Animals, Canon, Cooking, Me Time

It was a hot day here in Southern California and a perfect day to get out and have some FREE fun with my friend Walter. We were talking on the phone Friday night just laughing and catching up when he told me about the Chinese Lantern Festival in Downtown Los Angeles. So we made plans to link up and hang out together.

I met Walter through the community work that I do and it is always so funny to how I hear people say such silly things like “you can’t be friends with the people you are trying to help” I think this is simply a lame and backwards way of looking at things and truly the wrong way to look at how to help people. Now I am in no way saying that you can be friends or that you will ever develop a friendly relationship with everyone you encounter. What I am saying is that when you close yourself off to the possibilities in life, you tend to miss out on things and even some amazing friendships simply because you made the choice that someone in need is not worthy of friendship.

Right away Walter was someone who welcome me and the work I do and soon we developed a dialog that has led to a great friendship. He is someone I truly admire and have a great deal of respect for. I was so excited when we made plans to hang out together to take in the Chinese Lantern Festival.

The event itself was great and the fact that both of us learned so much about Chinese culture in such a short time and it was also a time for me to share with Walter the richness of Los Angeles and this Golden State. It is always so cool to share the place where I was born and raised with someone who has moved here and may not know all the amazing things there is to know about Los Angeles. This city has such a rich and vibrant history that I love to share with those who are interested.

There was so much to see and do, but first we had a small modeling session and then the fun began as soon as we turned the corner and it lasted until we said our goodbyes on the Red Line Train home. Whenever I have the chance to hang out with Walter I have a great time and we are always laughing and learning so much about each other. Each time I walk away knowing that this young man is more than just a sexy body and a beautiful face. His beauty goes much deeper than what you see on the surface and I am so happy that I get to see the many amazing sides to this brilliant young man.

After laughing and getting an awesome short tour of the Chinese American Museum we headed out into the main courtyard where we took in some dancers and made our rounds at the food trucks. After checking out the menus we made the cool choice to eat at Komodo food truck. WOW this little gem certainly got it right. The lady on the truck who took out order was so cool and made our experience so much fun. We were so excited to come back and eat the awesome food they had to offer.

No day would be complete without a walk through Olvera Street and visit to the beautiful Union Station. While taking pictures, eating a pink cookie and laughing I had the chance to once again share some rich Los Angeles History about the area and what it was like growing up here in Southern California. While talking with him I couldn’t help but think back to the conversation I had with my friend KoKo where we were saying how very blessed we were to have grown up in Santa Monica and have been raised in such a beautiful and culturally rich city. Many places talk about their vibrant cultures, but Los Angeles is simply the place to live among the worlds people in one area.

After our tour of Union Station we jumped on the Gold Line Train to take a quick look of China Town before we headed back to Union Station to jump on the Red Line Train to call it a day and make plans to see each other tomorrow for yet another adventure together.

I was looking forward to getting home because before I left I got a gift box in the mail from my friends Kim and Nicole. I had no clue what they had sent, but I knew it was for my outreaches to homeless people or people living with HIV or AIDS. I was also missing Dodger and I really wanted to get home to take him for his evening walk and then chill on the sofa watching TV with him.

Today was a great day and I had the chance to spend it with a great friend and tomorrow thanks to two great friends I get to spend a portion of my day helping people in need. When I told you I have some amazing friends in my life I truly meant that and each day they help me help others and help me remain encouraged.

Awesome Week

// February 12th, 2011 // 2 Comments » // Chef, Cooking, HIV and AIDS, Homeless Outreach, Me Time, friends, health, work

Although this week went by very fast, it was a very busy week for me, with changes taken place at work and outreaches, placing final things in order for the rest of the month as well as getting ready for what could be a battle for my job. By Friday I was feeling a cold trying its best to get stronger from the day before, but Friday night I took measures to head it off at the past.

WORK

This was the last week of having two chefs of the kitchen. The other chef who cooks dinner give her notice and Friday was her last day. If you have been reading this blog then you know how hard ti was to work with her, but I did all I could to make the situation work. However in the end she made the choice that she had mentioned several times before which was to quit and find a job that worked best for her.

The last week working with her was very pleasant, for some reason she was very relaxed and in many ways very helpful and considerate, but she stuck to her guns about helping to keep the pantry and refrigerator clean and stated true to form with ordering far more then what was needed and three times used items that were supposed to be for breakfast or lunch. However this is now in the past as Friday was her last day.

She seems to be very happy with the new job she will be working and I am happy that she found a place that she feels will work best for her. She will be working at a very high placed eatery in the Arts District of Downtown Los Angeles. A place I am very fond of and a place that has a really cool vibe.

The other thing that took place this week was the fact that I would be training the new chef on Monday and Tuesday of next week. I also was asked by the director to plan a dinner menu for the week as well, but by Wednesday after ordering food for the following week I was told that this would not be the case because there would be no evening chef, but instead a catering company that would not require any training or assistance from me.

For me this raised some red flags mainly because I use to cater and I know the ultimate goal was to have the entire operation and not just part of it. Moreover, according to the house director they have requested that I be out of the kitchen by 1:30pm, which is 30 minutes before my schedule time ends. I raised this point with the director and she did her best to simply dodge the issue with the answer of “well I will have to talk to Brian and see what he has to say about this.”

Now according to the director, the kitchen is about six thousand dollars over budget. For me this is hard to swallow because we have never been given a budget for the kitchen. In any case just while going over all the invoices and making certain that all bills have been paid and that we are current with each vendor, I find that we have nearly a eight thousand credit with the very vendor the director made the choice to stop using.

I made my finding known to the house president as well as to the house treasurer expressing that it would be better to no longer order from other vendors until will use this credit that we have with the other vendor. Doing so would bring the kitchen back on budget with room left to move. They thought this was best, but we will see what takes places in the coming weeks.

As I stated before, the order for next weeks food had already been placed, instead of simply refusing all the items that were order for dinner, the director made the choice to keep the entire order saying “We will just use the extra dinner items for lunch” However in our meeting just last week, the house president expressed that sometimes lunches are a bit heavy, these would be menus that I have not planned, but menus submitted by the house director or the former evening chef. When I mentioned this to the director she simply said “It would not be fair to Oscar if we cancel half this order. They will just have to deal with it.”

Other the this my time at work has been awesome, as I have stated many time on this blog and on my youtube channel the girls I would for are awesome and I love working for them. I made some baked tofu this week and even introduced Soy Lettuce Wraps which were a hit with the entire house. Something the director said would not be well received by the meat eaters. Again she was dead wrong, but then again she always is.

So my goal next week to to continue to do the very best job I can and do all that I can to make sure the kitchen runs on budget, meals continue to be awesome and that the members remain happy with the service I provide them. Judging from the applause I got after a Friday brunch where at one point I had next to 15 brunch tickets stacked up on the counter and from the all the smilies and love the girls continue to shower on me, I am certain my job is till secure. However I am leaving nothing to chance.

OUTREACHES

By Friday I wasn’t feeling all that great so I was happy that I had made some arrangements with my friend KoKo who had some donations from  cousin Mona to give to me because she could not use them. So the items that I planned to do the Skid Row outreach for were passed to my friend and she would drop them off next week.

When I am not feeling well it is always so nice to have a friend like KoKo help me do with I do and even better to know that people like Mona are out there doing what they can, when they can to help people in need. I was also able to get some information from my friend that will help someone who is homeless and looking for a place to live. Through her advice and support I am hoping that this person will follow though and eventually get his own place to live.

I’ve also received a few emails from one of the guys down at Chess Park. His cell phone has died on him, so he asked if I could help him get another phone. I just happen to have a few phones in my donations closet, so I am able to give a phone to him. I just need to load some minutes on the phone and then meet up with him on Sunday. I will also be able to give him a hygiene kit as well.

One of the cool points of my week was the pleasant surprise I received from my friends Kim and Nicole who live in Milwaukee. They sent three boxes with shoes, Do Something Kits and a brand new Fox Sports jacket. The shoes and jacket were part of the outreach to people on Skid Row battling HIV and AIDS. Thanks to my friend KoKo the outreach went on as planned, so this was awesome for me.

SATURDAY

It’s Saturday and it is beautiful outside. Because I am not feeling my best I am simply going to take it easy and relax today. I need to be in top health come Monday as I prepare to pull out all the stops and stay on top of my game. A task I am sure the director thinks I will fail at badly. She must not know about me.

Happy 4 Year Anniversary Do Something Saturday

// February 8th, 2011 // 2 Comments » // Cooking, Homeless Outreach, beach, friends

On February 3, 2011, the outreach that I created while I was homeless celebrated it’s 4th birthday. it was such a happy and proud time for me. Who would have ever thought that my attempt to reach out and help people who are homeless would grow to what it is today and be so embraced, loved and respected by so many?

Now I could have simply went out with some friends to celebrate this milestone, but instead I am taking the entire month to be of service to homeless people, low income families and people living with HIV or AIDS. This past weekend (Saturday, February 5th) the month long celebration kicked off in the area in which it was created with an outreach to homeless people in Santa Monica’s Chess Park.

I also had the cool opportunity of doing this outreach as with many of the outreaches with a good friend of mine. Together we spent the day with some pretty cool homeless people feeding them Jumbo Jacks, bottle water and passing out Do Something Kits. We hung for about an hour, laughing and talking, I also had the chance to speak with someone who is looking for housing and I am hoping with the connections I have I will be able to help him get started in the right direction toward ending his homelessness.

The cool thing was the fact that just two days before the outreach I received an email from someone who was so helpful to me when I was homeless. To be honest if it wasn’t for him I would have been close to death on what was the coldest February on record, by showing me how to use newspaper to help keep me warm and how to dig a small trench to prevent the wind from blowing across my body while sleeping on the sand at the beach. It was so cool to see him. Later this week I will be picking up a cell phone and taking it to him so he is able to stay connected.

My evening was spent with my friends taking a cool, but very short tour of the old Los Angeles Zoo. I had no clue that there was a such thing, so I was happy that I was able to hang out with them to take some pretty cool pictures.

Sunday I had someone stopping by to drop off donations for the Do Something Kits. This person watches my YOUTUBE channel and happened to see me on the bus coming home from work one day. I was on the phone, but we got off at the same stop and he tapped me on my shoulder to say hello. It was really cool to have met him and later it would mean donations for the Do Something Kits.

He and I hung out and talked while I finished cooking “Sunday Dinner” for homeless people. This was an added outreach that I planned since I knew I would be home and had the money to purchase the food. After passing out 12 chicken dinners and 10 Do Something Kits, I had the cool opportunity of speaking with this awesome young man on camera.

I could not have asked for a better way to kick off the month long 4 year celebration of Do Something Saturday. I spent this very special time with my friends and then had the amazing honor and pleasure of meeting someone who watches my youtube channel and wanted to get involved.

Looking forward to sharing all the amazing stories from the outreaches as well as the photos all month long.

Tuesday, Feb. 1, 2011

// February 1st, 2011 // 1 Comment » // Chef, Cooking, Pictures

Well it’s day two of being back at work after being off for a week and Monday was a day to remember. I was all set to have a nice quiet day back at work and for most of the morning it was pretty quiet. it was so good to be back, the girls were very happy to see me and after talking with a few of them, I started to remember why I enjoy working for them. They are simply an awesome group of women to work for.

The morning came to a crashing end when the director walked into the kitchen with this smug look on her face. She asked questions about the death of my cousin pretending to care and when I would not engage her she changed the subject to try to engage me to talk about the other chef, but once again I would not be drawn in, so she proceeded to try to get me to talk about things that could have been wrong in the kitchen when I arrived. Again she was let down when the only things I had to say was how the food items she left sitting on the back stairs were not only a safety issues, but also was a direct food handling and storage issue which breaks the heath department code for handling and storage of food. She then left the kitchen.

An hour so went by before she tried to engage me again, this time she was trying to show me that I had no submitted enough menus for the previous month, but since I had already emailed her with regards to this and had in fact showed her where she had once again made a mistake in printing the menus. Again when she saw I was not going to be drawn in by her, she tried to act like other things were wrong and this is when I told her that what she was doing could be considered work place harassment and I asked her to stop or I would report her to the labor board. I went on to ask her for another performance review since the one she gave me was based on her personal opinion instead of my job performance. While walking away she says “well that is not going to happen.”

The other chef had once again had her hours changed once again and did not come in until after 12:30. Once she arrived she went right into meeting with the director that lasted until after 1:00pm. When she finally came to the kitchen she told me she had given her notice and that the following week would be her last week. “WOW” is all I could think to myself.

It was Monday, so we had formal dinner and our work cut out for us, but for some reason the other chef was pleasant and even asked for my help, instead of just having me make salads for the tables. “Would you like to make the Mac and Cheese for tonights dinner? Yours is better then mine, plus the girls love your Mac and Cheese.” I looked at her and said “sure, what else do you need?”

For the rest of the shift things went well and the night went by fast. We no longer saw the director and during dinner she did not bother us and ask silly questions. She did not ask me to come over to her table to get her more butter, nor did she ask why there were no signs on the veggie option. For the first time since I’ve been working there she stayed out of the way and let us do our job. It was really nice.

Tuesday my day started again pretty nice, but once again the director pops in and tries to engage me in things that have nothing to do with my job, so once again I refused to entertain her and once again she got upset and tried to point things out that I was doing wrong and left the kitchen not to be seen for the rest of my shift.

Right as I was about to head home the other chef tells me that the director told her that I complained about the kitchen not being cleaned when I arrived on Monday and I told her that the director told her a lie. I told he the only things I said were wrong were the things the director left undone. We both laughed and once again the wedge that she had hoped to drive between me and my co-worker did not work.

The highlight of my day was the time I spent in the dining room talking and laughing with the members, Just being able to speak with them, listen to what is going on in their world and also have a chance to get ideas about menus and what they would like to see from the kitchen. The other great point of my day was the chance to laugh and work with the dishwasher and maid. They make working there so much fun.

THE CARD

On Monday around 10:00am I noticed an envelope on a clip board with my name on it. I walked over to it and when I opened it I discovered another reason why I love working for this organization and why I will not allow the unprofessionalism  of the director make me question just how much the members of this house love that I am there, besides this I would also not allow her to come between myself and my co-workers. Inside the card were such kind words from each member telling me how much they were missing me while I was away and how much the atmosphere had changed since I was gone. She said they were praying for me and hoped that I would come back very soon.

As I prepare for my day tomorrow I will once again not engage the director in anything that does not pertain to work and I will not allow her to convince me that the work I do is not the very best each and everyday.

Sometimes people who are unhappy want the people around them to be unhappy, sometimes the people who go out of their way to try to make others feel less than is simply because they are the ones who are less than, they are the ones who cause the most problems and they are the ones who always end of alone, because they are the ones who are unhappy. So let them be unhappy…..don’t engage them.

Sunday with Friends

// January 30th, 2011 // No Comments » // Animals, Chef, Cooking, Me Time, Pictures, friends

It’s been a while since I’ve had my two friends Donald and Walter over for dinner, in fact it was long overdue, so after chilling with Donald on Friday, I knew it would be awesome to hang out with him and Walter, so right away I made the calls and after hearing “yes” from both of them I made the plans to have an awesome Sunday afternoon with great food and plenty of smiles and laughs.

Whenever all three of us hang out it is nothing but a great time. I could not have asked for a better way to spend my Sunday afternoon. Donald and Walter are both members of my book club and even though we have not had a meeting in a while, at the end of the night we are so looking forward to bringing that time together back to life. We decided that we will read a few chapters when we get together for our brunches. This way we can all keep up, share and talk about the books we are reading.

Saturday was a cleaning day for me so there wasn’t too much for me to do in the way of getting things ready for my guests. Ijust had to wash dishes from the night before….yes sometimes I leave dishes in the sink. This was a huge no, no as a kid and I use to be the kind of person that was very anal about this, but now if I am not feeling up to washing dinner dishes, then they will wait until the next day. The word never comes to an end because i have not washed them and since I don’t have any bugs I don’t worry about leaving a plate or a cup.

It was cold today and the rain returned. It was so cold that I could not sleep as late as I had planned, but unlike most Sunday mornings where I get up make a pot of coffee and watch the morning news shows on ABC, today I simply opened the blinds just a bit and sat on the sofa with Dodger. Soon after I was laughing on the phone with my friend Leah for well over an hour. I love when I have time to spend talking with her. She always has this way of making me laugh even when I dont feel like it.

The bonus surprise was the fact that i was able to hang out with my friends and do an outreach. The shoes Leah donated I was able to give to Walter. He was so happy to get them and I even had the chance to let him speak to Leah. That was really cool.

Ok, so as I was saying, it rained today and for some reason I really enjoyed it more then I normally do. Walking to Trader Joe’s was nice and unlike before when I had to bundle up because the rain was coming down pretty hard, this time I simply slipped on a t-shirt, thermo, heavy scarf and a knitted cap and I was off.

I really like Trader Joe’s, but I have learned that I really most inspect things I get there. Many times I come home with fruits or veggies that are packed in these handy plastic containers only to discover that most of them are not usable. Today I was in a hurry and failed to do this and I ended up cutting away most of the tomatoes I purchased. Even one of the avocados was bad, so that too got tossed. However the staff is always friendly and the prices are still cheaper then Whole Food and the quality is still far better then Fresh and Easy.

We had lettuce wraps, chicken tacos, Spanish rice, refried beans, homemade salsa and guacamole with blue corn tortilla chips. I added some fresh grilled shrimp to the ground soy I used for the wraps. I also picked up some juices that I would offer with the water and squirt I already had.

The guys arrived on time and after some conversation we started with the sides and then moved on to the main meal. It was a hit!!!! I was surprised that Donald liked the wraps. I didn’t tell him it wasn’t meat until after he had eaten at least two, but even if I told him before I am still sure he would have eaten and enjoyed them.

As always our time together went by so fast. Before I knew it the time had come for us to say our goodbyes. Dodger and I walked our friends to the corner where we hugged and said good night. i so wish these two lived closer to me so we could see each other more often.

As I walked back home, looking up at the pink clouds in the sky I started to smile because I had just spent the better part of my day with two guys I really enjoy, two men I truly respect and admire a great deal and two men I am so honored, blessed and thrilled to call my friends.

The sun has set, most of the kitchen is clean and I have had my hot bath. I am sitting on the sofa uploading my photos from tonight, Dodger is sitting on the arm of his chair snoring, the blinds are closed, my apartment is cozy and I am about to lit my candles and burn some sage.

Since I have to be up rather early, I will be in bed by 8:30pm tonight. Monday is my long day and after having a week off I am sure the director will be in the kitchen bright and early to ask questions and do her best to get under my skin. Already she has emailed a menu that is not mine, so I will have to deal with that once I am in the kitchen, however I will be ready for her and all the games she likes to play.

In the middle of my day I was able to upload my “What is GOOD in Our World” video, that was really cool because last Sunday I was not able to do one.

I hope you all have had an awesome Sunday and I pray that you all have a peaceful and productive week.

Moving Forward

// January 27th, 2011 // 2 Comments » // Chef, Cooking, health, work

In light of recent events at my job and seeing how things are only getting worse with each passing day, I have come to the conclusion that it is best to look out for me. Even though I have been told several times by the members that no one is being being fired, I can’t trust them on this matter. I have seen many times where organizations like this say one thing but turn right around and do the other.

I am just getting home from my trip to Chicago for the funeral of my cousin. The service was nice and it was cool to be able to see family members I have not seen in such a long time. It was also nice to have a chance to speak someone who gave me some much needed legal advice on how to handle things with the director. I was able to show him my review and he was able to point out where is is breaking labor laws. He also told me that I can file a dispute about the review and do so in writing.

The best advice he gave me was something I already knew I should be doing and that was plan on not being asked to comeback, moreover plan not to make it through the end of the year. Not because I have done anything wrong, but it has been his experience that organizations such as these tend to fire their staff faster then they will a director.

So the plan for me is to scale back outreaches after the anniversary, which will allow me to save more money to be used for the filing of my non-profit status as well as set money aside to pay for my bills and rent. Since I’ve been home I have already looked into ways of making this happen.

The sad thing in all of this is that the members are fully aware of how this person is, they have said she treats them badly as well, but they do nothing about it simply saying “this is just who she is” I really enjoy working for the members, as I have said many times, they are a great bunch of young women to work for, however they have no experience in how to deal with staff issues and to be honest, the person in charge of payroll has also done a poor job at making certain all forms are correct and handed to the payroll company.

This job has caused so much stress and I have headaches every single day I go in. I can not allow the stress of this job to affect my health and well being, I also can not allow someone to treat me like I am a slave.

This is not something that is exclusive to this organization, it is pretty much universal for all organization of this nature. It is something that is never looked at or taken care of because staff who voice complaints are quickly fired from their positiions.

Cooking will always be one of my passions in life and I will not allow this experience to cause me to think any less of myself of the job that I have done while employed here. I know in my heart I have done the very best job I could for this organization. They can hire another cook or chef, but they will never find anyone like me.

Red Flags

// January 26th, 2011 // 1 Comment » // Chef, Cooking, Health and Fitness, health

When I interviewed for this job there were plenty of red flags and warning signs which were reasons why I should have said “no” to taking this job. However I had been on over 90 job interviews with no job offer, I was sick of being dependent on friends and having to beg DPSS each month to please give me my benefits, so I ignored them.

The first red flag was how she spoke very poorly of her former employer over at USC, even speaking very poorly of members of her current employer. She even spoke of how I would have a hard time with the dishwasher because he could not read and his English was very poor. I could go on and on, but the fact still remains that I ignored all of this because I needed a job.

Things have only gotten worse since I’ve been hired and I’ve blogged about it and I have even spoken to some of the members about it and nothing has been done to correct it. My co-worker has cried in the kitchen at least three times after the director has spoken to her and made her feel like she is a complete screw up. She even places blame on us for things she has done wrong.

It all came to a head for me on Friday when I was handed what I thought was my forms for filing my taxes. I had already spoken to the director three times about this, but she always had the same answer. “I am told they dont list it”  She is also refusing to pay an employee a check that has been lost. Her answer for this is “I am doing all I can” or “she doesn’t speak clear English and what I say to her is lost in translation”

After opening the envelope I discover what I already knew, the director was wrong and had done nothing to correct her mistake. There have been no taxes taken out of my check, furthermore I am not even an employee of the organization. When i took these papers to her office, she acted as if she had no idea what was going on. She asked me if she could keep the papers until she corrected it and I told her “no” you may have a copy, but you can not keep. She then asked if she could give them to me at the end of my shift and again I told her “no” make your copy now or never. I also want to speak to someone about this issue ASAP and I don’t want the run around.” She looks at me and says “I am not the enemy here.” Something she always like to say when she is caught. She made her copies and I went back to the kitchen.

Later I was called into her office for my review which was all bad, she scored me 2’s and 3′ and even said most of it was her “personal opinion” After she finished her interview she asked if she could have a hug. I asked if she looked into the matter about my taxes and being a an employee and she replied with “I have not had time to deal with that right now” Need less to say I did not hug her. I don’t trust her one bit.

Please dont get me wrong, I love my job, the work is so much fun and the members are awesome, however the director is very hard to deal with, she is rude and to be honest at times she comes off as being racist, but we are told “that’s just who she is” There is no one for us to speak to about what goes on. She blames the kitchen for a budget we have never been given, she changes vendors and then acts like it is our fault that she has made choices that have resulted in shortages of food, ppor food quality or food not showing up at all.

At the end of the day she comes into the kitchen to tell me that she is cutting the hours of the other chef, but did not want me to tell her, just like she changed food suppliers but didn’t want to tell the other company. Everything she does is sneaky and done in dark. At then of the year of or before I would not be surprised if all kitchen staff is not fired.

Can you say STRESS? We never know how she is going to come into the kitchen or what she will take pictures of to later show us what we’ve done wrong. She looks for things to be wrong, she looks for reason to complain or tell us that the members are not happy. However what we hear from the members is that things are fine, but the very same day we will hear other things from the director.

I need this job, but the stress of it can be too much. I go in wondering if I will be fired or spoken to like I am some house slave…house nigger. If I treated my co-workers the way she treats us the answer would not be “that’s just who he is” The answer would be”you’re fired” but I guess the rules are different for certain people.

There are times when I dont get sleep because I am up worrying about if she is in the kitchen making things up and taking pictures or if she is going to email or text me demanding something. I have never been fired and I have never worked in an environment like this and it is very stressful.

She can do whatever she wants, give me a bad review and there is no one for me to dispute it with, no one for me to discuss it with. She can treat the staff like slaves and there is nothing we can do about it.

I took this job because I needed it, my back was against the wall and now I have a job that causes so much stress I want to put my head through a wall. My sleeping patterns are so screwed up, I have a headache that I cant seem to shake.

I had a death in my family over the weekend, so I have called out and she is acting like I have asked her to move heaven and hell, so I know she will give me such a hard time when I return next week and because I need this job I will keep my mouth shut and “deal with it” because that “is who she is”

So if you wanna know why I am keeping to myself then here is the answer, if you wanna know why I dont seem like myself well its because I dont want to be homeless again, if you want to know why I eat and eat and eat and eat and eat, its because I am stressed. Since she found out I was once homeless she has treated me even worse, so I know when she finds out about HIV she will fire me. I know this because she speaks very poorly of gay people.

There are times when I dont even leave the house on weekends other then to walk Dodger because I just want to sit inside and be left alone.

I recall when the other chef was crying telling me how she has gotten into her head and made her feel like she does not know what she is doing, how she now questions her ability and how she makes her feel worthless.

When she told me this my soul was shaking because I know those feelings very well. Being homeless for 29 months I felt all those feelings and many more, not because they were try, but because of how I was treated by people and places who are supposed to help.

“Worthless and stupid” is how I feel now working for this woman. Even though I know it’s not true and even though I know the members say everything is great, they dont seem to understand what we have to put up with.