Project Kengikat

Productive Day

// May 31st, 2011 // No Comments » // Animals, Canon, Exercise, HIV and AIDS, Health and Fitness, beach, health

Today was the first day that I put myself to the test of being certain to stay focused, stick to my schedule and get things completed and I did awesome. The only area where I slacked was getting up to get things moving along. I missed that window by almost three hours…..I’ll do better tomorrow. Even with missing the window by almost three hours I still got lots done for my organization and even got my exercise time in as well.

I was able to schedule a Dr. for my Unplugging HIV outreach on Skid Row next week, designed a flier and sent out three emails seeking support, advice and guidance from some people who have been in the field of HIV a long time and have told me on many occasions to “reach out” if I ever have questions or need some support with my work. Only time will tell if this was sincere or just more people talking.

I took a look at a website someone suggested to me about this idea I have and I spent some time uploading photos from the weekend. WOW, over 300 photos.  Thank God for the people at Flickr, because there would be no way for me to store over 30,000 pictures on my laptop. Thanks again to my good friend Eric for the Seagate Free Agent external drive. That too is such a huge help.

I had a case management appointment today to turn in my service logs to show where I have gone to the Dr. and done other things like my community work and other things I do to help me deal with being HIV positive. This meeting is always a breeze and never takes more then 10 minutes because she knows what she is doing and does not want to take up too much of our time. She really gets that she is there to support us, not police or make us. Something that is greatly lacking from other organizations who claim to be doing the same work she does.

Dodger and I went on three walks today which allowed me to get some much needed exercise and even clear my space so I could come back and finish the job at hand. The breaks during the day seem to give me the energy to get back and get things completed. My mind is sharp and my energy level was even all day long.

The big score for me today was getting a Dr. to speak at the very last minute to my Unplugging HIV outreach down on Skid Row. I called her to talk about dates for a workshop in July and as we spoke she offered to come speak next week and even provide the meal for the group.  AWESOME!!!!!

I’ve seen her present before and each time I am so blown away by how she is able to make things basic and clear. She also takes her time, being very careful not to leave anyone behind. She is also someone who is very sensitive to the needs of the people she presents information to. This is key for my outreach on Skid Row. My outreach is mainly minorities which are populations greatly affected by HIV and AIDS, so it if very important to have someone who can present information in a manner that is not judgmental or condescending. They have to feel like they can trust what the presenter is telling them and have been known to test each presenter just to make sure they know what they are talking about.

It is going to be such a huge blessing for me to have her present to my residents  through my Unplugging HIV outreach on Skid Row and I am very certain that they will be thankful and appreciative of her effort to supply them with the tools to live a long happy life.

So it’s now 8:59 in 51 seconds on Tuesday night. The goal is to be in bed by 9:30 no later then 10:00 and up at 6:00am for my bike ride and morning news, walk with Dodger, morning calls and then back to the grind to move my organization forward.

The pictures with this blog are from the photos I took on Monday (Memorial Day) You can view them all by clicking on myphotos to the right of this blog entry.

I hope you’ve had a great day

Growth and Change

// May 30th, 2011 // No Comments » // Animals, Canon, Exercise, HIV and AIDS, Health and Fitness, Homeless Outreach, Me Time, Pictures, beach, diet, friends, health

This long holiday weekend  has been awesome. It started with jazz at LACMA and today it ended with an awesome day of picture taking with my friend Franklin, who was just one of my friends who helped me kick my weekend off. All I can say is that I’ve had an amazing, fun filled weekend.

Franklin and I have been spending lots of time together and I must say that it has been simply awesome getting to know him better and spend so time with him. I already blogged about how I met Franklin and already talked about some of the things he deals with in his daily life. It has been so cool to watch him open up and grow, so cool to watch him move from someone who barley spoke a word to someone who talks and smiles, so cool to watch him go from someone who stayed in his dark apartment, to someone who now calls me about going on picture safaris.

It is simply so amazing to watch how the gift of friendship can help to change things for someone. How simply showing up and refusing to allow someone to waste away can mean the world to the life path that someone is on. This is why the word “friendship” means so much to me and why I never just throw the word “friend’ around.

My friends are all straight and all couples,  newly weds with a baby, while another has been married a few years with ababy on the way, another couple planning a wedding and the last couple has been together for a very long time. They are all great people and to be very honest they are great friends, not just supportive of me, but of my community work as well.  At times I feel like a third wheel, even though I know when they ask to hang out they truly want to see me and have some hang time with me.

Until Franklin I had no single friend and with him I get a friend who is not only single, but we also share the common interest of photography, jazz, classical music and so much more. Like me, Franklin is HIV positive, so there is just one more thing we have in common and one more thing we can help to support each other through.

For the past two months, maybe three I’ve been thinking of how I am going to grow and change, not just my organization, but in my personal life too. Just last month I had a great HIV check up and in order for that to continue I need to make certain I am doing everything I can to keep my body healthy and stay off HIV medications.

To address this I have been back on my bike and taking longer walks with Dodger, I am also doing all that I can to address more healthy eating habits, however doing this is a huge challenge on government assistance, but I am doing all that I can. The main thing is that i am making certain in get rest and plenty of exercise.

In addition I am also removing people, places and things from my life that only serve as distractions and yes, even problems or drama. This is going to be key in my overall health and well being. It’s funny to me how once you make your mind to be a better person all the way around, people, places and things start to work against you. All of the sudden people you never hear from are now calling, people, places and things start to do more to show up and be distractions and this is where I need to make certain I am clear in where I am going and what I want to accomplish.

The cool thing is this, with getting rest and more exercise I have seen major changes in my mood, my energy and my Sickle Cell is not given me that much of a problem. My days seem to be more full of energy and my stress level is very low. I seem to be smiling more, if that is possible for someone who smiles all the time.

Now let’s talk about my outreaches because they too are changing and I am adding an addition to my HIV outreach.

Do Something Saturday~that empowers people

This is my oldest and most visible outreach and for the past four years I have run this outreach out of my own pocket or efforts combined with the backing and support of my friends and supporters. It’s been awesome and the people I have been able to reach has been great, but it is time to step it up and take this outreach to the next level.

I dont mind sharing my ideas or even talking with friends about what I want to do or how I can help them. But I must say that my feeling get hurt when I my ideas at work in organizations that do not even respect people like me. My feelings get hurt when I see people collect awards for an idea that was mine, but simply because they have the backing of some non-profit or people with deep pockets.

These past three months I’ve had to really swallow my pride and set my feelings aside and know that my ideas are at work making things better for people battling HIV and AIDS as well as people who are homeless or transitioning from homelessness into having their own place.

I’ve always said I do not so this for someone to call my name or to get some award, however it does not feel good to see other people take credit for my idea or something I’ve worked damn hard at. I simply does not feel good.

So no more will I allow organizations who wont even allow me to volunteer for them, take my ideas and use them for their good only to line their pockets and flip me or even people like me the middle finger.

I will say this as I have said all along, you cant help people if you do not speak with them and seeing what I have seen and reading what I have read from 4 very different mega funded organizations really makes me angry, but not in a bad way, i that makes sense. It makes me angry enough to do more, push harder and raise my voice that much more, so that people who are seen but not heard have their concerns addressed.

I am adding a support group for people battling HIV or AIDS to my Skid Row outreach. I am just so sick and tired and hearing the same old tired line from the “community” and even people at “ASO’s” when it comes to addressing the needs of people who are greatly affected by HIV and AIDS.

No longer will I wait for people to return emails after I’v sent several and even had face to face conversations with such people. I will no longer accept “they are out of my SPA area” I will no longer wait while HIV and AIDS continues the path it has always been on unchanged since the start of the HIV and AIDS pandemic.

After reading this you will understand why I need to remove some people, places and things in my life that only take up space and offer up nothing. I can not allow my health to fail me because I am not doing all I can to remain in good health.

Tomorrow is day 1 in the journey of positive growth and change for both me and my organization.

Today I ended my awesome weekend at Malibu Lagoon State Beach. I am uploading the 344 pictures I took and the video of the day is already live on my youtube channel. I will share the other surprise later this week in either a blog or vlog.

I hope you all have had a great holiday weekend.

Changing

// May 27th, 2011 // No Comments » // Animals, Exercise, HIV and AIDS, Health and Fitness, Me Time, diet, friends, health, photos

There has been so much taking place in my life. Like some of my friends I am experiencing a shift in life which requires me to “be still” It is also requiring that I look at people, places and things in my life that no longer serve a purpose….to be honest some of these things never served a purpose, but I just wanted to hold on to them. That is no longer going to happen.

It’s always so funny to me that right as I am about to experience a breakthrough in my life, people, places and things will come around or reappear in my life to only serve as distractions to take my eyes and attention away from where they should be. Now these people, places and things come in many forms, but none the less they are distractions and I can not allow them to trick me off my center.

One thing I know for sure about God is that he does not need to announce himself to me. He does not need anyone to tell me that he has sent them. You see I am his child and I will know if God has sent something for me. It’s always funny to me how people invoke God into their mess and then act as if you are not supposed to know it.

This week I’ve spent more time being present and listening to things around me. I spent time making sure that where Ispend my time and energy is something that is fruitful. There is no point in me toiling in a field that will never bear any good fruit. Now I know this will go far over the heads of many, but for those of you who fully walk in love and light you know full well what I am talking about.

I’ve also been making certain I take more time out for me and not spending my time worrying about things I have no control over. I’ve been making certain that I am getting proper rest, doing my best to eat better and get far my exercise in so that I am able to move forward with the work I am doing.

It has been awesome to simply go to bed and get some rest. I can’t even begin to tell you just how much this has changed my mood, my spirit and this I can carry with me throughout my day. I realize that not everyone is going to understand and even care about what I have to say or what it is I am doing and that is ok. As long as God understands then I have nothing else to concern myself with. See with God I can do all things and with God I am the majority. I do not need to seek any other permissions or ask anyone else but God.

I’ve been enjoying the rich friendships I have in my life, I am taking the time to smile a bit longer, hug a bit stronger and live my life a bit better.

I am making no time for confluma (confusion and drama), I am not entertaining people, places or things that do not set well with my soul and I am not apologizing for it. I am not making time for people, places or things that only seek to distract me and I know what distractions look like, how they sound and yes I even know they will come bearing gifts and even say they are from God.

I am staying on my center and my center is God and I will not be shaken off, rocked off, pushed off, shoved off or tricked off my center.

Each day I pray from a hedge of protection around me and I know that there are people who pray the very same prayer as well. I ask God to bless me when I am in the city and while I am in the field. I ask him to be a fence all around. I ask him to protect me and guide my foot steps.

As I move to embark on my new journey in the outreach work I do for people battling HIV and AIDS, I know I will need to be rested, I know I will need to be on top of my game, but I also know I must ask God to bless the work and me.

If you are watching my Flickr page then you see I am spending more time with my camera in hand. I also working on creating a photography book and hoping to put together a photography show of my work as well.

Blessings

HIV Update

// May 10th, 2011 // 2 Comments » // Exercise, HIV and AIDS, diet, health

So today was the day I made the trek to the valley to get my HIV lab results. I was really looking forward to these results because there were a few things that were some concern to my Dr. The first being my blood sugar and the next being my liver and kidney functions. I was pretty sure that all would be ok, but one can never tell.

I call this a trek to the valley because it is a long distance from where I live in Hollywood. Normally it takes me about an hour and half to get the my medical appointments. That is as long as there is no problems with METRO buses or trains, but if you live here in Los Angeles and depend on METRO to get from point A to point B, then you know full well that there is never a day where METRO runs without no problems, delays or trouble.

Now I was born and raised here in Los Angeles County, but as a kid I grew up in Santa Monica and never had to ride RTD as it was called then because Santa Monica has its own bus line and it does a great job taking care of travel for people who live on the Westside. But METRO is the nations number one bus line according to METRO, but there have been times  where I have called to get directions and three different operators using the very same system come up with very different ways to get to where I need to go. All of which are dead wrong.

I never look forward to riding METRO to places where I need to depend on their agents for directions. Also I feel thatMETRO is very unsafe when it comes to overall passenger safety. I have been in the Blue Line Train when fights have broken out and nothing is ever done. I have been on the Red Line Train where the same thing has taken place. Furthermore there are no station agents at any of the stops along the METRO train stops.

METRO is how I get around and no matter how bad things are with METRO or how high the prices get and no matter how many fare hikes METRO issues, I have no choice but to use this system. Walking to my medical appointments is simply not an option.

With all that said, lets move on with my HIV appointment. In a word “GREAT” Everything was awesome. My T-cells are still very high and my viral load remains low and in check. My liver and kidney functions are normal, my cholesterol is perfect…in fact my Dr said it is better then hers. I’ve lost 18lbs, my heart is fine and lungs are strong. Overall this was an awesome HIV appointment and I was very happy with it.

However I have been having a hard time sleeping at night. Once I am able to get to sleep I wake up and am unable to get back to sleep for a few hours or more. This has made me very tired and restless during the day. So I have been given a prescription for a sleep aide that has a small anti-depressant to help me sleep and also deal with the very minor amount.

I can take this pill until my sleeping patterns return to normal and then stop taking it. There are no side effects and no chance of me becoming dependent on it. My Dr. knows how I feel about taking meds to address a problem that I should be able to address myself. Even though I know there are some people who truly need meds to help them be balanced I also know that I am not one of those people.

I walked out of my medical appointment with a huge smile on my face and a huge feeling of knowing that should anything come up, I have a great Dr. backed by an awesome medical staff that will help me get through any challenge that is before me.

Even though the bus ride home was long and filled with lots of people, I was relaxed and at peace.

Escape with Me

// March 1st, 2011 // No Comments » // Animals, Canon, Exercise, Health and Fitness, Me Time, Pictures, beach, health, photos, video, work

Today was a day for me to unwind and remove all stress. It was something that I have not done in a very long time and believe me when I say it was long overdue.

It’s amazing how much time we spend doing things that have nothing to do with our overall well being. Shocking how much stress we allow to build up in our lives and many time we don’t realize it until something like a stroke or heart attack happens, even worse death.

About a month ago someone said to me “your Sickle Cell has given you so much problems since you started working this job.” Last month I went to the funeral of a cousin who lost his battle with Sickle Cell and after talking with his wife, she too feels that if he only spent more time removing stressful people and things from his life, he would still be here. The last time I spoke with her, she asked me to take better care of my overall health and well being.

It goes without saying that my last job was very stressful and more the 95% of the stress was caused by a director who knew went out of her way to cause chaos and confusion among the staff. Constant changes to schedules, job requirements, emails, voicemails, pictures and even threats that she would fire us were just some of the ways she caused so much stress.

Today after my first round of housing inspections and my trip to the doctors, I did something for me. Something I have not done in a very long time, but as I said before, it was long overdue.

I came home grabbed my cameras and headed to the beach to escape for a day. I know to many this was not much of an escape, but for me it was all I needed. Since I grew up in Santa Monica and I love being near the water, this is where I headed and I am so glad that I did.

it was a cook day today so I needed to make sure I was dressed right. I didn’t want my day of relaxation to turn into a night of fighting off a cold. I dressed in layers and topped it all off with my USC hoodie.

I spent the day with no real plans other then just taking it slow and not spending a bunch of time online or in contact. What I mean by this is, I had my cell phone with me, but if was off for more the 90% of my day. I did not return calls unless they were something that could not wait until the next day or at least until I was heading home later in the evening.

Being near the water was so calming and cool. it was like all day therapy for me. I walked from the top of the Santa Monica Pier all the way down to Venice Beach, just south of the new skater park. Taking pictures every step of the way.

I finished my day with dinner at the Santa Monica Place Mall and a sunset at the Santa Monica Beach. I had spent my most of my day relaxing and clearing my space. I did such a good job at it, that the crowded bus ride home filled with people who were loud and some of them rude, didn’t even bother me.

I was welcomed home by my dog Dodger and I spent the night on the sofa talking of the phone with my friend Christina. I picked up a scented candle on my way home and that has been burning for sometime now. It smells awesome.

I took over 450 pictures today. They are currently uploading to my Flickr page. I had a great day and I am so glad I took most of it for me.

DAY 3

// January 20th, 2011 // No Comments » // Exercise, HIV and AIDS, Health and Fitness, Me Time, diet, health

My last trip to the doctor was a great one, however there was a possibility that I had glass in foot. Since I was going in to meet with one of the medical advisors I also thought I would try to see my doctor as well. As soon as I saw her, she left her seat and came to give me a hug. It is always so cool to go to the doctor. Having my doctor hug me, much less know who I was or what we last talked about was not something I ever experienced at USC. Hell they never even knew my name, it was always “what’s your patient number” This has never been the case with my current doctor and as I have said before the staff is always so awesome and I am so happy that I am in their care.

So the bad news with my visit was the fact that my sugar was high, not that high, but it was something that I needed to be made aware of. There was also the issue with the weight that I have been packing on. I knew I could take care of both issues, all I had to do was get off my ass and do it. Well I guess i should really say that I need to make certain I am putting my health and well being first. So the very first thing I have done is stop eating so late at night and then going to bed after. I have also started watching my sugar intake. I’ve also started eating more whole grains, veggies and fruits. I am so loving oatmeal in the mornings at work.

The biggest things I have done is getting my butt back in the gym and going out for longer walks with Dodger at least three times a day. Today was day 3 at the gym and I must say I feel great. The biggest thing I have noticed is my energy level is way up and I am sleeping better at night.

So I am back in the gym and this weekend I will be back on my bike as well. I can’t  even tell you how long it has been since I’ve been on my bike, but I can tell you that the air is nearly out of both tires. I can also tell you that I know I have been on it at least once or twice, may three times since I’ve had Dodger. So I guess it is safe to say that I have not been on my bike in a good 9 months. WOW, 9 months, now that is a damn shame.

The good thing is that I am in good health and I know the next time I head to the doctor my sugar will be back in check and I will have lost a few pounds, maybe more. My main goal to not to make excuses for not taking care of myself, because the reality of things is that in not taking care of myself I am going down a dead end road that will lead to death.

I am taking my time with this, because this is about anyone else but me, it’s not a race, but it’s about my health and well being. It is about preserving my good health and not going down the road to high blood pressure and problems with my sugar. It’s about making sure I am around to enjoy an awesome life, my cool friends and to continue the amazing work I have created. It’s about my amazing life.

So here’s to my awesome health!!!