Growth and Change
// May 30th, 2011 // No Comments » // Animals, Canon, Exercise, HIV and AIDS, Health and Fitness, Homeless Outreach, Me Time, Pictures, beach, diet, friends, health
This long holiday weekend has been awesome. It started with jazz at LACMA and today it ended with an awesome day of picture taking with my friend Franklin, who was just one of my friends who helped me kick my weekend off. All I can say is that I’ve had an amazing, fun filled weekend.
Franklin and I have been spending lots of time together and I must say that it has been simply awesome getting to know him better and spend so time with him. I already blogged about how I met Franklin and already talked about some of the things he deals with in his daily life. It has been so cool to watch him open up and grow, so cool to watch him move from someone who barley spoke a word to someone who talks and smiles, so cool to watch him go from someone who stayed in his dark apartment, to someone who now calls me about going on picture safaris.
It is simply so amazing to watch how the gift of friendship can help to change things for someone. How simply showing up and refusing to allow someone to waste away can mean the world to the life path that someone is on. This is why the word “friendship” means so much to me and why I never just throw the word “friend’ around.
My friends are all straight and all couples, newly weds with a baby, while another has been married a few years with a
baby on the way, another couple planning a wedding and the last couple has been together for a very long time. They are all great people and to be very honest they are great friends, not just supportive of me, but of my community work as well. At times I feel like a third wheel, even though I know when they ask to hang out they truly want to see me and have some hang time with me.
Until Franklin I had no single friend and with him I get a friend who is not only single, but we also share the common interest of photography, jazz, classical music and so much more. Like me, Franklin is HIV positive, so there is just one more thing we have in common and one more thing we can help to support each other through.
For the past two months, maybe three I’ve been thinking of how I am going to grow and change, not just my organization, but in my personal life too. Just last month I had a great HIV check up and in order for that to continue I need to make certain I am doing everything I can to keep my body healthy and stay off HIV medications.
To address this I have been back on my bike and taking longer walks with Dodger, I am also doing all that I can to address more healthy eating habits, however doing this is a huge challenge on government assistance, but I am doing all that I can. The main thing is that i am making certain in get rest and plenty of exercise.
In addition I am also removing people, places and things from my life that only serve as distractions and yes, even problems or drama. This is going to be key in my overall health and well being. It’s funny to me how once you make your mind to be a better person all the way around, people, places and things start to work against you. All of the sudden people you never hear from are now calling, people, places and things start to do more to show up and be distractions and this is where I need to make certain I am clear in where I am going and what I want to accomplish.
The cool thing is this, with getting rest and more exercise I have seen major changes in my mood, my energy and my Sickle Cell is not given me that much of a problem. My days seem to be more full of energy and my stress level is very low. I seem to be smiling more, if that is possible for someone who smiles all the time.
Now let’s talk about my outreaches because they too are changing and I am adding an addition to my HIV outreach.
Do Something Saturday~that empowers people
This is my oldest and most visible outreach and for the past four years I have run this outreach out of my own pocket or
efforts combined with the backing and support of my friends and supporters. It’s been awesome and the people I have been able to reach has been great, but it is time to step it up and take this outreach to the next level.
I dont mind sharing my ideas or even talking with friends about what I want to do or how I can help them. But I must say that my feeling get hurt when I my ideas at work in organizations that do not even respect people like me. My feelings get hurt when I see people collect awards for an idea that was mine, but simply because they have the backing of some non-profit or people with deep pockets.
These past three months I’ve had to really swallow my pride and set my feelings aside and know that my ideas are at work making things better for people battling HIV and AIDS as well as people who are homeless or transitioning from homelessness into having their own place.
I’ve always said I do not so this for someone to call my name or to get some award, however it does not feel good to see other people take credit for my idea or something I’ve worked damn hard at. I simply does not feel good.
So no more will I allow organizations who wont even allow me to volunteer for them, take my ideas and use them for their good only to line their pockets and flip me or even people like me the middle finger.
I will say this as I have said all along, you cant help people if you do not speak with them and seeing what I have seen and reading what I have read from 4 very different mega funded organizations really makes me angry, but not in a bad way, i that makes sense. It makes me angry enough to do more, push harder and raise my voice that much more, so that people who are seen but not heard have their concerns addressed.
I am adding a support group for people battling HIV or AIDS to my Skid Row outreach. I am just so sick and tired and hearing the same old tired line from the “community” and even people at “ASO’s” when it comes to addressing the needs of people who are greatly affected by HIV and AIDS.
No longer will I wait for people to return emails after I’v sent several and even had face to face conversations with such people. I will no longer accept “they are out of my SPA area” I will no longer wait while HIV and AIDS continues the path it has always been on unchanged since the start of the HIV and AIDS pandemic.
After reading this you will understand why I need to remove some people, places and things in my life that only take up space and offer up nothing. I can not allow my health to fail me because I am not doing all I can to remain in good health.
Tomorrow is day 1 in the journey of positive growth and change for both me and my organization.
Today I ended my awesome weekend at Malibu Lagoon State Beach. I am uploading the 344 pictures I took and the video of the day is already live on my youtube channel. I will share the other surprise later this week in either a blog or vlog.
I hope you all have had a great holiday weekend.
There has been so much taking place in my life. Like some of my friends I am experiencing a shift in life which requires me to “be still” It is also requiring that I look at people, places and things in my life that no longer serve a purpose….to be honest some of these things never served a purpose, but I just wanted to hold on to them. That is no longer going to happen.
spend my time and energy is something that is fruitful. There is no point in me toiling in a field that will never bear any good fruit. Now I know this will go far over the heads of many, but for those of you who fully walk in love and light you know full well what I am talking about.
I am staying on my center and my center is God and I will not be shaken off, rocked off, pushed off, shoved off or tricked off my center.
Since my last trip to the hospital I have followed the instructions of my doctors to the letter. I was told to rest, take it easy and try to reduce stress and also to find a way to relax. I have done just that.
speak with my doctor about the possibility of me being so depressed that I need meds for it. In defense of my dear friend, she did not hint or imply this at all, however the other person did because she felt I was crying far too much. Apparently crying is a sign that someone is depressed and in needs of drugs to control them.
It’s been awesome hanging out with friends, going to lunch, dinner and even on picture safaris. This week alone I have already gone on three and tomorrow I am planning to go on one alone. I must say that several people have asked me to hang out tomorrow, but none of them have confirmed if in fact they truly want to do this. The old me would check in and make sure, but this new me is no longer begging people to come hang out or follow through on things they set into motion.
peace in my life and the coolness of the real people in my life. From my awesome friends I’ve made through YOUTUBE, this blog to the crazy, sexy, cool friends in my daily life. My life is rich and truly blessed.
As I have said before here and even on my youtube channel, getting my final pay check from Tri Delta Sorority has been like pulling teeth. After several calls to the house director and several emails to the house president all of which went unreturned, I finally called an attorney who was more than happy to help me with this matter.
knocked on my front door. Dodger barking and running to the door made it hard for me to ignore it and go back to sleep. I went to the door only to see the smiling face of my friend Bradly and his two kids, they even had their little dog in toe. I totally forgot they were coming over.
They talked for a bout 10 minutes and by the time they were done I could feel the tears about to fall from my eyes. I gave Bradly a hug and kissed them goodbye. When I closed the door the tears just came on like a flood gate had been opened. I could not even fight them or control them. The things they said were so kind and pure, to be very honest they were innocent and very raw at the same time. What made me cry was that here were two kids only 9 and 10 years old and they had such love, respect and compassion not just for me, but towards people in general. I was crying because I dont know many adults that have this. My tears fell even more when I thought of them growing up and the innocents about them is replaced by life and how it can change a person.
stores to get some items to help round things out for the Do Something Kits. Once I got back home I walked Dodger again and then began to put the Do Something Kits together
From here on out my focus is on my work and nothing else and just as my friend Bradly reminded me, God will always take good care of me, just like he has done my entire life.
It was a hot day here in Southern California and a perfect day to get out and have some FREE fun with my friend Walter. We were talking on the phone Friday night just laughing and catching up when he told me about the Chinese Lantern Festival in Downtown Los Angeles. So we made plans to link up and hang out together.
a time for me to share with Walter the richness of Los Angeles and this Golden State. It is always so cool to share the place where I was born and raised with someone who has moved here and may not know all the amazing things there is to know about Los Angeles. This city has such a rich and vibrant history that I love to share with those who are interested.
No day would be complete without a walk through Olvera Street and visit to the beautiful Union Station. While taking pictures, eating a pink cookie and laughing I had the chance to once again share some rich Los Angeles History about the area and what it was like growing up here in Southern California. While talking with him I couldn’t help but think back to the conversation I had with my friend KoKo where we were saying how very blessed we were to have grown up in Santa Monica and have been raised in such a beautiful and culturally rich city. Many places talk about their vibrant cultures, but Los Angeles is simply the place to live among the worlds people in one area.
clue what they had sent, but I knew it was for my outreaches to homeless people or people living with HIV or AIDS. I was also missing Dodger and I really wanted to get home to take him for his evening walk and then chill on the sofa watching TV with him.
Today was a day for me to unwind and remove all stress. It was something that I have not done in a very long time and believe me when I say it was long overdue.
It’s been a while since I’ve had my two friends Donald and Walter over for dinner, in fact it was long overdue, so after chilling with Donald on Friday, I knew it would be awesome to hang out with him and Walter, so right away I made the calls and after hearing “yes” from both of them I made the plans to have an awesome Sunday afternoon with great food and plenty of smiles and laughs.
just had to wash dishes from the night before….yes sometimes I leave dishes in the sink. This was a huge no, no as a kid and I use to be the kind of person that was very anal about this, but now if I am not feeling up to washing dinner dishes, then they will wait until the next day. The word never comes to an end because i have not washed them and since I don’t have any bugs I don’t worry about leaving a plate or a cup.
Ok, so as I was saying, it rained today and for some reason I really enjoyed it more then I normally do. Walking to Trader Joe’s was nice and unlike before when I had to bundle up because the rain was coming down pretty hard, this time I simply slipped on a t-shirt, thermo, heavy scarf and a knitted cap and I was off.
I added some fresh grilled shrimp to the ground soy I used for the wraps. I also picked up some juices that I would offer with the water and squirt I already had.
The sun has set, most of the kitchen is clean and I have had my hot bath. I am sitting on the sofa uploading my photos from tonight, Dodger is sitting on the arm of his chair snoring, the blinds are closed, my apartment is cozy and I am about to lit my candles and burn some sage.
Today more then ever I wanted to get out of my apartment and have a great day. It was sunny and pretty warm out and I refused to sit inside and let this day slip away from me. I was up pretty early to watch Good Morning America and then spent some time talking with a friend in Atlanta and then cousins out in Texas.
have not tried to report a change in income, she would have it documented in my file. This was my second call to my case manager and the 3rd time we have spoken about this matter. I certainly don’t want my housing to be in jeopardy because of some oversight that is not from a lack of me trying to do the right thing.
While I am was hanging out with my friend I received a phone call from my case manager, she told me she received an email from my analyst at the housing authority letting her know that she had in fact got my calls and would take care of any changes at my next certification. I was so happy to hear this and in turn this news helped me to relax when it comes to my housing.
stop into the APPLE Store and take a look at the laptops and give myself a visual on what I want to get for myself.
Right now I am watching World News with Diane Sawyer, I have some scented candles burning and later I am sure I will take a hot bath. Saturday is yet another day for me that will start early. I have an appointment to get my carpet cleaned and then plan to take some time out taking pictures. I am hoping to find a place where I can take pictures of simple things.