Project Kengikat

Community vs. Humanity

// August 14th, 2009 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

This past week has been filled with ups and downs, mostly from thinking about the current state of affairs as it pertains to the massive budget cuts to HIV and AIDS prevention and care. Prevention has no baring on me but many of the other cuts will have a direct effect on my health care and could possibly affect my housing as well.

The other thing on my mind was just not having enough time to really do many of the things I want to do to help other people. This past week and the ending of last week has been especially hard because the Hawkins family was able to move into their apartment in Hollywood, but just like I am all to familiar with and aware of, things didn’t go so smooth. Not only did the person that was paid to help them move flake out before they finished the job, they next person was just as dishonest and lied to them about the cost, leaving the family with no money. In addition to this they also have a social worker who feels he is God and he the right to say and do anything he feels to them and they had better be cool with it, or he would make them pay for it.

It really bothers me when the places we must turn to for support and help can many times be the worst places for us and many times do nothing but cause more hurt and harm and all we can do is deal with it because we are poor or homeless and dont have a voice.

I cant imagine what it would be like to have kids and have to deal with homelessness and on top of that have a child who is in need of vital services and the place I turn to for support becomes a place of abuse, hardships and great harm. It was hard enough for me to have people in charge of me who dont give a rats ass about me or what happens to me, but to have someone in charge of me and my children is something I would not be able to deal with, especially when that person threatens me, yells at me and when this doesnt work, they take my kids away and all I can do is deal with it because I am poor or homeless.

This family, people I consider and know to be my friends reached out to me and told me what was going on and that they were in need of food. Right away I knew I was not going to be able to help them with what little money I had, so I posted to my FACEBOOK page their need and while manypeople said they would help, only three people, besides myself came through. My friend Eric messaged me right away asking what they needed and once I told him he was on top on it. That night Eric and Willow came by my place many bags of groceries for this family. I am never blown away by Eric and Willow and how kind they are, simply because each time they step forward they always come through in such a huge way. They are two people who truly love humanity and will do all they can when they can to help those in need. For me this is a double blessing because not only am I able to help people because of this love for humanity that these two people have, but I am also so blessed to call them my friends. How sweet is that?

Saturday I had the chance to relax just a bit, although my mission was to spend some time looking for Judy and I also wanted to start to get supplies for my Unpluggin HIV outreach that will take place next month on September 19, in Downtown LA on Skid Row to men and women living and battling not just HIV and AIDS, but poverty and extreme low income as well. Earlier in the week I received the green light to bring my Unpluggin HIV outreach to Skid Row to a building where men and women with HIV  and AIDS live. This was so awesome for me and my organization and I owe my friend Shawn so much thanks and most of the credit for helping me in such a huge way set this up.

After looking for Judy for a little more then two hours I was set to give up and look for her another day, but just as I was about to walk into the 99 cent store to get some supplies for the Life Kits I saw Judy walking towards me pushing her basket piled high with her belongings, or what is left of them.

Just like I am so use to  with Judy, her faced just lighted up when she saw it was me. I just love Judy so when I saw it was her walking towards me not only did I get a huge smile, but my soul felt better because I knew she was safe…..well as safe as one can be living on the streets in the meanest place toward homeless people.

Judy and I spoke for a while and I was able to get her some items that she requested. I was sad when I was not able to get her the shoe she needed because they did not have her size, but I was able to get her something to eat and visit with her for a short time before I needed to head back home. I collected her cell phone so I could charge it for her and place another $10 phone card on it for her. However trying to locate Judy can sometime be very hard because she no longer stays put in one place and the meeting place we agreed to meet at was a bust. I waited for her for over an hour before I had to leave. My goal is to do my best to find her this weekend as I will be out of town next week.

Saturday afternoon I spent with Tina and Andy down in Venice. Our plan was to hit the board walk and then head over to Krystal and Patrick’s to pick up some things for my apartment as well as items for the Unpluggin HIV outreach. Well shopping at the garage sale and then eating at MOAS very close to the board walk really made us run short on time and Tina was feeling tired, so we took Tina home and Andy and I headed to the BBQ at Krystal and Patrick’s.

While driving to the BBQ I got a email from a lady who who wanted to donate some things for my outreach. SWEET. The cool thing was how she found me and what was even cooler was that she was very close to where we were headed, so after arriving and chilling for a few Krystal drove me to get the yummy donations for the awesome lady who’s name is Dominique and the clothes she g ave were awesome.

I had a blast as I always hanging out with Krystal and Patrick. I was once again able to chill with JP and met two new people Angie and Brian. I was able to take home a sweet pub table, leather foot chest with two small leather posts as well. The cool thing is this I was also able to get a awesome couch for the Hawkins famly..

Monday was a start to another week and while I had already had a really great weekend, I was still pretty worried about the Hawkins family and HIV and AIDS budget cuts were also very close on my mind as well. I had already been asked by my new Case Manager at my clinic to speak on behalf on my clinic at the meeting for the Commission on HIV. Since it was and has been my clinic and the awesome staff there that have done far more for me then anyone has done for me since I have been HIV positive I was more then happy to speak on their behalf.

My friend Angela also contacted me this week to see how she too could help the Hawkins family and later that night she too came through with awesome things for this family in need, but she and her husband are also able to provide them with things I am not able to, because I do not have kids and dont fully understand what having a kid is like. They also provided emotional support to the Hawkins family and they even provided much needed clothing items for them as well.

Angela is someone who is from my childhood and if you have been reading my blogs or watching my youtube channel, then you know I have not had the best of luck with letting people from my childhood back into my life. In fact in doing so this has caused my a great deal of hurt and pain. No one ever wants to be called “fagot” or “stupid” by anyone let alone the people who are supposed to be your friends. No one wants to have “friends” make offers of housing and then not hear from them again. No one wants to let people in their life and see what has happened only to have them make jokes and laugh with other so called “friends” But I guess this all points to how someone is raised and what type of value system they have, it also speaks directly to the person they have allowed themselves to become and what type of person they truly are, moreover what kind of humans they will bring into this world  to further the cycle of hurt and pain. Please dont get me wrong, I do have some of my childhood friends in my life in one way or another and I am blessed and thankful for that, in fact I am even thankful for the ones who came with hurt and pain, it has only made me stronger and more determined to keep  moving forward into greater works. It also forces me to fully appreciate the meaning and value of  the friends I do have. For me that is simply priceless.

When I had the opportunity to tell Angela what was going on I backed off because I didnt want to deal with anyone more bullshit then I already have to deal with. I also didnt want to have another friend talking about me behind my back and treating me like shit. However this wasnt the case with Angela, her husband Perry had already been watching my youtube channel so this had already made them aware of things I am dealing with. It felt so awesome to have someone from my childhood, someone who was such a awesome person and someone I truly did consider a friend step back into my life and this time there was no hurt or shame that came along with it.

Fast forward to August 13, 2009 at 9:00AM, the meeting for the Commission on HIV and I was one of 37 speakers who spoke to ask that services most vital to our survival not be cut. It was so powerful and moving to me to hear the stories of men and women who have gone through many of the same things that I have, and have found help not from an ASO, but their clinic and this is where the services are being cut the deepest. It bothers me that lives just dont seem to matter to our leaders.

For me my clinic represents so much, it’s because of my clinic that I was able to get housing, my HEP B vaccination is now on track, my health care is now on track, so many things are going in the right direction and with these budget cuts many of the things that are finally in place could now fall out of place and that is just so troubling to me.

Once I got home I was so drained, because my day started so early and after the meeting I spent time looking for Judy so I could get her phone back to her, but once again she was no place to be found and I just could not spend anymore time looking for her. I spoke with the Hawkins family and things were them as well and that made me smile big time.

There are a few things that stick out in my mind about this week and they give me great comfort and that is awesome donations I have received for my Unpluggin HIV outreach from so many awesome people. I was also able to link up with Christian and Miles, the guys from Conquer the Land as they made their way through Santa Monica in the last 5 days of their bike ride down to the San Diego border. I was able to give them 3 more Do Something Kits as well as present them with their very own Dab the AIDS Bear and welcome them into the family of being Ambassadors of Hope.

Last night I got a visit from two new people in my life Kristin and Michael who came over to bring 4 bags filled with clothes and shoes for my Unpluggin HIV outreach that takes place next month on Skid Row on September 19 at 12:00PM

What I have come to know as truth in my life is the amazing things I have been able to do for others with the help of some pretty amazing and awesome people who truly care for humanity. What I have learned is that no matter what mountain is placed in front of any of us, we not only have the power to climb it, but move it out of the way altogether in order to pave the way for those who will come after us.

The work that I do is very hard and very time consuming, there is no pay and it comes with plenty of setbacks and attacks, but at the end of the day when I see the smiles on the faces of homeless people like Judy, when I see families getting through their dark times, when I see people with HIV or AIDS hold on and fight another day, when I am able to offer someone a meal that isn’t spoiled or clean respectable clothes to someone who truly needs them, when I am able to simply sit with someone and give them a chance to be heard, that is all the payment I need and it encourages, empowers, inspires and gives me the strength to “keep it pusin” another day.

What I have learned is that really helping people doesn’t require a staff, nor an office, it doesn’t require research or statistics, it doesn’t require commissions or committees, it doesn’t even require money. It simply requires love, respect, compassion, humility and the will and desire to help someone in need. It requires you to think outside the “community” mindset that separates, confines and divides us and encourages, fosters and even demands that we think outside our “gated community” that excludes humanity.

CHANGE requires hard work from all of us and to do this we must think outside of “community” and look toward “humanity”

Does “community” separate us? Well when “community” becomes gay, straight, Black, Latino, White, rich or poor then the answer is YES. However but when “community” becomes more about “humanity” and not clicks and groups, the haves and have nots then there is no separation. There is no big “I’s” and little “u’s”

Community separates us and Humanity brings us together as one as a TEAM. So I would rather spend my time working to better HUMANITY not any one community.

Donations Unpluggin HIV outreach on Skid Row

// August 9th, 2009 // No Comments » // video

I’ve worked really hard to make this happen and I am so happy that I now have the green light to do my Unpluggin HIV outreach to people who need it the most. People who have battled homelessness and many other things and are still very much dealing with being poor and having to go without. My Unpluggin HIV outreach is going to Skid Row to help people living with HIV and AIDS. I get to speak on the 19 and the last Saturday in September I will be able to host my first outreach to people with HIV and AIDS down on Skid ROW. This rocks

Customer Service at the Bonaventure Hotel

// August 9th, 2009 // 4 Comments » // Uncategorized

This was supposed to be my weekend to relax and take much needed time to just chill out before jumping head first into a long week of preparing for my outreaches for homeless people and people living with HIV and AIDS. I will also be starting the week off with three medical appointments.

Since my friends are out of town I was offered a “get away” to stay at their place. The cool thing is that this “staycation” wont cost me a cent and I wont have to end up battling to get my money back nor will I be flat out lied to about the charge to my credit card and I wont have to be lied to again as to when it would be returned.

What ever happened to customer service? When companies were honest, when they cared about how they treated their customers? Whatever happened to making things right and keeping your word? Since when did the customer, the very person who is the backbone of every business, became the enemy?

I recall a time when you called a company and were able to speak with someone, or you could just walk right in and have the issue resolved right away. No lies, no excuses, no phone trees, no being transferred or no one to tell you “I’ll call you back” only to have them never call back. Are the days where the customer was king gone? Replaced with people who tell lies, act as if you have bothered them when it is their lack of training and understanding just how very important the customer is?

Far too many times companies think “give them something for free and make them go away” reapirs the damage done by their lack of care toward the people who allow them to open for business each day. Far too many times companies feel that it is ok to miss mark and not offer excellent customer service each and every time to every person that walks through the door.

I recall working for Bullock’s Department Store one summer. It was a free standing store, meaning it was not in a mall or shopping center. I was trained under a manager who said when people can to the store they came to get something and if they left without a bag, then this was because we didnt do our jobs. “people can go to a mall to browse, they come here to shop.” While working there I also learned that Bullock’s truly cared about their customer and geared all training toward making the customer happy. Later I found out why Ma loved Nordstroms so much. It wasnt so much that they had great clothes and shoes that she loved wear, but they had unmatched customer service. They still do to this day.

How many times has a company done something wrong and then take their sweet time correcting their mistake? How many times do they try make you feel like it was your fault that they screwed up and then to add insult to injury they add “We will do all we can to fix this as soon as possible” or “let us look into this and we will get back to you.”

Last week my friend sent me a message telling me that I could get a FREE room at the Bonaventure Hotel in Downtown LA. He told me because he wanted me to have a “get away” as so many people in my life do. I really appreciate him for being so kind to think of me. This is the same friend who gave me the two tickets he won to Romeo and Juliet. I was able to once again enjoy the ballet, just like I use to in what now seems like a lifetime ago. The ballet was awesome and it was FREE, he didnt ask me to give him a deposit for the tickets or tell me that I had to pay for one. He gave them to me and I had an awesome time.

After the ballet we went to the Bonaventure Hotel and we ate at the Bonaventure Brewing Company. When Tina told me she had a certificate that would entitled us to a certain amount off our meal once we ordered a certain amount, I recalled the cool times I had been inside the Bonaventure and how each and every time it was so cool. The very last time I was in the Bonaventure Hotel was in 1987 after my high school prom from Santa Monica High. Some friends threw an after party in a warehouse in Downtown LA and after that many of us had rooms at the Bonaventure Hotel. It was so cool. We went from room to room laughing and just having a great time in a great hotel.

I shared some of this memories with Tina and Andy as we enjoyed our meal at the Bonaventure Brewing Company. When we were ready to leave the waitress failed to place the coupon on the final bill. She had to be told about it, but once told she did correct it. But what sticks out is this the fact that she had forgotten.

I was warned by a friend that nothing is free anymore and there would be a hidden charge and it would hurt me in the long run. She told me this after I had already placed the reservation and right after talking to her I called the hotel to ask. I wanted to make sure there was no hidden charge and no deposit required. I was assured that this was a promotion and there would be no hidden charges of any kind, not even a deposit. I explained a bit about my situation and how I did not want to be surpised once I got there. She placed me on hold and came back and said “Mr. Carr I just checked and there will be no hidden charges or deposit required”

That wasnt the case when I arrived the very next day. The lady at the counter first asked for $100. We I told here that I was told there would be no charge she looked at me like I had just insulted her. She then asked for $85 and again I told her what I was told. I asked her for my card and expressed that I was pretty pissed to have been told one thing only to come all that way told I had to pay. She then asked what I could pay. Since I had made arrangements to meet someone to pick up her donation of diapers for a family in need, I said fine. She did assure me that this was not a charge and I would get a credit back to my card when I check out. That was not true.

At check out I was given nothing and when I asked for a receipt I was given one that showed “balance due $0” I asked for a receipt that showed the credit back to my charge. “Sir you didnt pay for the room, it was free, nothing was charged to you card” at this point the couple checking in next to me began to look over at me and the “gentleman” behind the counter. This is when I asked for his manager.

Marco came out and told me the very same thing. “There was no charge to your card. We took an authorization and it was deleted. It was show back on your card tomorrow.” That was not true.the card was charged and the next day there was no credit back to my card. I again called my credit card company just as I did when I stood there with Marco and they told me the same thing. “Mr. Carr the card was charged by the hotel and there is no record of the charge being reversed.”

I called the hotel and this time I spoke with someone in the executive office. She listened to me and she said she would call back and she did. She told me that I should never have been charged a deposit and the card was charged and not issued a credit. She assured me she would take care of it. She also offered to mail me a check for the same amount of the charge and a stay in one of the suites to make this up to me. I told her that I wasnt complaining to get something for free. This was a problem and it needed to be fixed, not for me, but for all people who stay in that hotel. She gave me her word that it would be fixed that day and I would get a letter from her in about a week with the check and voucher for another “free” night stay.

Well once again this did not happen, the charge remains on my card and my credit card company shows no record of the charge being returned. They didnt take an authorization, they charged the card and it has yet to be corrected.

Today I had bills due that I needed that money for. I made the lady in the executive office fully aware of this and she said she she would make sure the credit back to the card would be done that day. However it was not done. Now I have the cost of the bill, plus an additional charge on top of this I have a fee from the card as well. So a room that was supposed to be free has now cost me $75 in fees plus the cost of the bill that didnt clear today. So this pissed me off and I called the hotel. Only to learn that the word that was given to me was nothing more then someone blowing smoke up my ass. All the talk about how she wanted to correct this and make it right was nothing more then a bunch of bull shit. Nothing more then “give them something for free and make them go away” approach to customer service.

To add insult to injury I get bounced from person to person for more then 20 minutes one front desk person even saying “What an ass” thinking the call was on hold. “when you bad mouth the person on the line, make sure you have them on hold first.” I then was given to France who was equally as rude and dismissive. He was the manager in charge after Marco had gone home but had no power to correct the charge to my card. He told me he would have someone named “Myra” fix it tomorrow

Yeah the days of customer service are long gone and the days when I had such cool experiences at the Bonaventure Hotel are also gone. Tomorrow morning I will get up to ride the bus to Downtown LA to get this matter corrected. This makes has been like a hemorrhoid in my ass. I have never had a hemorrhoid before but if I ever do have the misfortune of getting one, I will name it “Westin Bonaventure Hotel”

While I did enjoy my get away to the hotel I am now sorry I did it, it has cost me way more the free and while I did give the hotel a rating of 7 in my review I am now changing it to ZERO minus because of how this was handled so very badly by people who are supposed to be managers, leaders or examples if you will for the people who work under them. From Marco to Susan and now France this hotels management sucks ass and therefore they can KICK ROCKS.

Even if I were to stay in the suite that has been offered to me it will not be a true measure of the quality of service that is available at the Bonaventure Hotel. The staff will be alerted that I am in the hotel, in what room and how long I would be there and therefore told to give the best possible level of service. They will be instructed to make no mistakes, so I can see how great things can be at the Bonaventure Hotel, but this wont be the true level or a real measure of the service. It will be a feeble effort to repair lousy way this entire situation was handled and it will not correct or make things right at all.

“give him a room and make him go away” How bout doing things right the first time and when you cant do that, then fix them the second time and when you cant do that, then just admit that what you’ve done can not be repaired.

I fully understand that mistakes happen and that no one is perfect. The lady from the executive office and I talked about this in great detail. In fact she was very surprised that it had even taken place, but she didnt nothing to make sure it wouldnt happen again, especially not to the same person in the same week.

So instead of resting and preparing myself for my busy week, tomorrow I will be forced to get up and head to Downtown LA and spend time “baby sitting” the Bonaventure Hotel and once again asking them as nice as I can to please return the money that charged to my credit card.

KICK ROCKS

For my friend who told me about the free night stay, please dont think you did anything wrong because you did not do anything wrong. You thought of me enough to tell me about an offer on something that was supposed to be “FREE” and I fully appreciate you for thinking of me in the first place. This was caused by the staff of the Bonaventure Hotel and the blame falls squarely in their lap.

From 22 to 36 years old I was a private chef with an awesome catering business. I even owned a BBQ join for a short time and not once did I even have to tell a client or customer that I was sorry or have to offer something for free because I or someone on my staff screwed up. Not once. Since I started my organization I have never had to say sorry for something I’ve done, but I’ve had to say sorry to people I serve because someone who had volunteered to help me went back on their word. Just like the lady who had the diapers she wanted to donate but never called me back. Even though the family in need go the diapers and two gift cards to Ralph’s I did offer her an apology because I said I would have them there Wednesday afternoon, not that evening but things that were out of my control prevented me from doing this, but the bottom line is that I gave my word.

Marco you gave me your word, Susan, you gave me your word and even the person that monitors the twitter page, you too gave me your word that this would be corrected and all three of you have failed to even make sure that the process was even started. That’s really sad and I had a better stay and service at the Union Rescue Mission

Coach uses the word “faggot” in interview

// August 7th, 2009 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

Hawaii football coach Greg McMackin, who used the word “faggots” in reference to Notre Dame players several times during a WAC press conference and then pleaded with the press not to cover it, has been given a 30 day suspension without pay and additional penalties:

“Officials say the coach’s comments violated university policy, and as a result coach Mcmackin is being suspended without pay for 30 days. The coach has volunteered to work for free during the suspension. In addition to the 30 days of no pay, the coach will voluntarily take a 7 percent pay cut. He will also appear in a public service announcement. Based on the coach’s million-dollar-a-year salary, 30-days of no-pay and a 7 percent cut takes more than 150,000 dollars from the coach…Part of the money saved from his suspension will pay for a student intern for the University’s gay student services office. Mcmackin will also have to make presentations about the topic during student orientations, and work on awareness training for the athletics program.”

McMackin broke down sobbing during a second apology, following his suspension.

“Hawaii football coach Greg McMackin said Thursday at the WAC media football preview that Notre Dame did ‘this little faggot dance’ at a banquet the night before last year’s Hawaii Bowl. McMackin used the term ‘faggot’ three times while explaining why Notre Dame was so fired up to play Hawaii in the game, which the Fighting Irish won 49-21. McMackin responded to the Notre Dame clapping tradition by having his players do the ha’a, an intense Polynesian dance and chant the Warriors do before games. McMackin said Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis got up at the banquet and told the crowd, ‘We do something special at Notre Dame.’ ‘And they get up and they do this little cheer, like this,’ McMackin said Thursday, doing a rhythmic clap. ‘You know, this little faggot dance.’ Once McMackin saw Notre Dame’s team demonstration, he gave his players the signal — the shaka — to do their ha’a.”

McMackin apparently pleaded with the press not to report on the slur: “I want to officially, officially apologize…Please don’t write that statement I said as far as Notre Dame. The reason is, I don’t care about Notre Dame. But I’m not a — I don’t want to come out and have every homosexual ticked off at me. You know what I mean. Because I don’t have any problem with homosexuals. But I apologize for saying that and I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t run that word. If you said dance, that’s OK. But don’t use the bad term that I chose, please. Thank you.”