Project Kengikat

Thankful

// October 13th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized

So much to be thankful for, I mean when I look at what I have been through in the last two and half years in my own life and with the loss of both parents and now seeing where I am now, just the fact that I am still here is enough to be thankful for. Let’s face it, many thought I would not be able to move forward with the organization I created and now some two and half years later, it is still going strong. There were those who just knew I would break, under all the stress from being very ill and having no medical insurance, much less a place to live, but by the grace of God and his favor over my life I am still here, still smiling and still reaching out to help others.

The heart is one amazing thing and it would seem to me that it can go through anything and if we just hold on to out faith and firm to our truth the rest will fall into place. I guess you could say that I am living proof and what can take place as long as you never give up, never allow others to define who you are, what your future will be and how the end result will turn out. It’s not up to others. It’s up to me and God and as long as I trust him I know I will be ok.

As I move into this holiday season I know there is so much to be thankful for, but most of all I am so thankful for my life, the joy that I have in my heart and love that I have managed against all odds to still believe in the good in humanity. Sometimes it is hard to notice the good things when all the colors are gray and I am standing out in the rain, but now as I sit here in Ground Works not from from my place, I noticed the colors have started to change. The darkness is gone and my life is pretty damn good, no I dont have the bank account I use to have and I dont drive the two cars I use to. Many of the people who I thought were such great friends are no longer in my life and those that came back into my life only to point their fingers, laugh and make fun at my expense are also gone. However from where I sit, I am glad they are gone, because I am far more successful, for more accomplished and far more in touch with humanity they can ever hope to be.

When going through any storm in life and let’s just be clear, we all have storms in some form or other, it seems we spend so much time thinking and focusing on the storm that we forget to be thankful for what is still good in our life. We forget that things could be so much worse because we are too busy looking at what is in front of us instead of what could be ahead of us. For me I had to visualize myself at the finish line, I had to believe that everything would fall in line and at time I must admit that was very hard, but here I sit with a huge smile on my face, sipping hot chocolate that I was able to buy for myself and I am not thinking about where I will sleep tonight, who I will have to fight for my things and I am not worried about Sickle Cell, cancer or HIV. I guess you can say that God has given me the peace that I prayed for.

However with all this good in my life I must still keep focused on what God has given me to do, simply because I am not off the streets and my medical issues are getting better and no longer causing such great stress in my life, I must keep working and giving back all that has been given to me. I simply have no other choice.

This Thanksgiving I am going to spend my time helping as many people as I possibly can with the awesome people that God has placed in my life. I have planned several outreaches that will help two families, one that has just come through a very hard time of being homeless and the other that is battling HIV. The goal is to provide two Thanksgiving boxes to these families complete with all the awesome items that make Thanksgiving a time to be thankful for all the light in our lives and is this world. The second will take place Thanksgiving Day with me cooking at least 20 Thanksgiving Day meals to pass out to homeless people who are on the streets and might not other wise get a chance to have a home cooked meal or any meal for that matter. Do Something Kits (Hygiene) will also be passed out as well. The third outreach will take place the Saturday after Thanksgiving down on Skid Row to 40 people living with HIV and AIDS. This will be my second visit to the building to the on Skid Row through my Unpluggin HIV~empowering a positive life outreach.

These outreaches will require a lot of hard work and determination on my part, but this time thanks to the generosity of two people I am able to announce an incredible effort to help me make all this possible. Every dollar you give will be matched up to $350 in order to make these events a complete success. So if you give, $5 it will become $10 or $50 will become $100 up to $350. What better to help those in need then to show how much you care by helping them to have an incredible home cooked Thanksgiving Day meal that will be prepared with love and respect as well as provide hygiene items to homeless people and those living with HIV and AIDS.

As I look back on all that God has allowed me to come through I could be very upset and angry at what has taken place in my life, or I can do what I have done all along, give thanks for my life and learn to count the many blessing that are still very much in my life even in the midst of “the perfect storm.”

If you would like to help with my efforts to help people at Thanksgiving or any time, then please log on and donate what you can afford and what is placed on your heart at www.dosomethingsaturday.org and click on the donate not button. Together we can all help people, encourage people and provide for people, we all have the power to create and be love which in turn will BE THE CHANGE that we want to see in the world.

Helping Those In Need

// October 7th, 2009 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

Thanksgiving is a time for family, to look back and reflect on things in our lives and be thankful that we are still here. It is a time for smiles and great joy, but for many people here in Los Angeles County it will be just another day of sadness and sorrow. Another day of darkness and great heartache. Many people will not even have the chance to have a home cooked meal that was made with love for them. They wont get a table with all the lovely linens flowers with loved ones gathered around it. For many people Thanksgiving will come and go just like any other day.

This will be my first Thanksgiving after a long 29 months of homelessness here in Los Angeles and I will be spending the entire Thanksgiving Holiday helping disadvantaged families and individuals who are battling low income, homelessness and HIV and AIDS. This Thanksgiving season I will do all I can with the help of people like you to stand in the gap and provide things that will help make this Thanksgiving Season a special time for those who are in need.

My goal is to provide one Thanksgiving Day “Celebration” box filled with all the things to make a awesome Thanksgiving Day meal to a family that is infected and affected by HIV. This box will include a turkey and all the trimmings that will provide hope and joy to a family of 3 in Santa Monica.

Thanksgiving Day I will spend cooking a Turkey dinner for homeless people in the Hollywood area that will be passed out to homeless people who might not have the will or way to make it to the missions and shelters on Skid Row. This meal will also include all the trimmings of a traditional Thanksgiving Day dinner along with a Do Something Kit. I am hoping to provide 30 meals to homeless people on the streets of Hollywood.

The Saturday after Thanksgiving I will return to Skid Row to provide a holiday meal to 40 residents on Skid Row that are battling HIV and AIDS as well as low income and poverty. This will be my second outreach to single resident occupancy (SRO) that I have adopted down on Skid Row. In addition to the meal I would also like to provide hygiene items, gently used clothes and shoes.

You, your family, your friends or even your organization can help to enrich the lives of many people who are disadvantaged and ill here in Los Angeles, by donating items that will help to make these outreaches to people in a huge success and a mighty blessing.

If you or your organization would like to help me help people who are in need, then please contact me today. Thanksgiving is a time of love and joy and no one should have to go without simly because they are poor, homeless or ill. Please help me help others during this holiday season. I know you have plenty of choices on how you can help people during the holiday, but I am asking you to consider my organization and my approach to helping, loving and respecting people who are in need with LOVE.

Please visit the events tab at  www.dosomethingsaturday.org for all the events and ways for you to help make this Thanksgiving season a very special one for those who are in need. Volunteers are also needed for these outreaches. Please contact me at kengi@dosomethingsaturday.org  details.

Thank you in advance for your support,

The View… From The Other Side

// October 5th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // Uncategorized

WOW, it seems like forever since I’ve done a blog here on my new site, but I’ve been so very busy with things for me and for the organization. It’s funny though how me taking a step back and doing things for me has caused such a shift in the people in my life. Saying “No” is not something people really want to hear and I have learned this week that many people would much rather me be broke down Kengi, then doing all I can to stand on my own feet. But through the 90 Days of Loving ME journey started my friend and to be honest my heart, Jacque I have learned that when you step up for yourself many people will have a huge problem with this and until now I have allowed people to say and do things simply because they were helping me and I needed their help, but now I need to be true to me and who I am.

The biggest changes for me have been my diet, I’ve been adding more whole grains, fruits and veggies, more chicken and fish and less beef. I will not eliminate beef from my diet however I have cut down on it. The other change has been exercise and making sure I do not allow things to get in the way of me getting to the gym and getting on my bike. I made it to the gym 6 days last week and for me that is a major accomplishment. It represents me saying “NO” to things to stand in the way of my health and well being and it also means that unlike some said I could not do, I am able to take time out for me and still get plenty of things done for others.

Monday I had such an awesome day with someone I call my Aunt Emma. I met her through Monica who heard me on KJLH Radio and since I met her she has been someone I have so much respect for. It’s strange, because I dont take to people right away, no matter how nice they are, but with Aunt Emma she reminded my of my Ma, so calm, kind and such a sweetness about her that you notice even before she speaks. I miss her when I dont hear from her and when I had the chance to hang out with her it was such a treat. We had such a great conversation and then we had lunch. The entire time I was with her was like it was like I was with someone who truly loves and cares for me, respects me for who I am, as I am and not for what they want me to be. I didn’t have to hear lectures about heaven or hell, I didnt feel like I was under a microscope like I feel so many times when I am with someone who claims to care for me. I was JUST ME and it felt so awesome.

The time I spent with Ant Emma was so awesome and before we knew it we had hung out for so long just talking and laughing and enjoying each other. It is simply an awesome feeling to have someone in my life that feels real to me. There are plenty of people in my life, but not many do I share the feelings that I share with Aunt Emma and not many that I feel like I can just be me and ME is just fine with them.

Tuesday was the day I got my latest HIV lab results and just like I knew they would be everything was awesome and I am still not on any HIV meds. My doctor said she wasn’t worried about me, my liver is fine and so are my kidneys, blood pressure is awesome and there is no sign of diabetes. My cholesterol is also awesome. I spoke with my doctor about other ways I could make sure I could keep my body in good condition and make sure I am doing all I can to keep my immune system. I asked her about adding vitamin D to my diet since there is some research that shows adding vitamin D can help to promote a strong immune system. Seeing that mine is already very strong I want to make certain it stays that way. My doctor felt this was a great thing for me to add to my daily diet and suggested I take  vitamin D 400 once a day along with the multi vitamin and vitamin C I am already taking with the St. John’s baby aspirin. She also strongly suggested that I come on the following week to get my Flu shot. I will be getting that shot first things tomorrow morning.

I am learning so much from many of the  people I have met who have HIV or AIDS and what I have learned the most is that I will not allow HIV to capture my life, nor will I be the victim like so many people are to HIV and AIDS. I refuse to allow HIV to become my life, dictating who I am, what I can talk about or who I can fall in love with. No disease have ever been in charge of me, not Sickle Cell, not cancer and certainly not HIV. I am in charge of my life and I am will my life to the fullest and HIV will have to take a beat seat to my awesome life.

It just seems to me that so many people with HIV have allowed it to take over. They have allowed it toshape them, mold them and even add meaning and purpose to their life. Not me, I cant be one of those people, because my life had meaning and purpose long before HIV and it will continue to be a rich and very successful life because I will make it that way, not HIV. HIV has absolutely no power in my life. For first time since being told I was HIV positive on April 3, 2008 I now have a doctor and clinic with an awesome support staff, case manager and many other things that allows me not to stress about HIV any longer. I dont have to worry about a nurse that speaks very little English, a doctor that doesnt even know my name, let alone give a damn about me, nor do I have to worry about some mindless administrator who clearly feels stigma and ignorance should play key roles in my health care.

I simply can not tell you how very reassuring, calming, empowering and refreshing it is to have a doctor and clinic complete with full support services pulling for me, caring for me, making certain that I have all the tools and medical support I need to live a great, long  healthy life. This include all aspects of my care, vision, dental, mental, emotional every since aspect of my care is now handled and I am not longer under any stress about HIV. Everyone with HIV or AIDS should be able to say this.

Before seeing my doctor I had an acupuncture session at m,y clinic and let me just tell you this, I you’ve never had acupuncture before, then I would highly suggest you speak to your doctor about the benefits of adding this to your care. For me it is just awesome and I always feel so great after and it stays with me. The biggest thing for me was this. I got a hug from my doctor as I walked toward the lobby and for the first time since being HIV positive I knew I wasnt the only one who cared about me. That is an awesome feeling.

I spent time working on my outreach for this weekend and I also worked on my outreaches for later this month to Shriner’s Hospital for Children here in Los Angeles, although there have been some minor changes to things around people visiting the hospital because of the H1N1 scare being fueled by the CDC and the media I will have to be ready to make and accept changes a the very last minute, but as it stands right now Do Something Saturday for children will take place on October 24 at 2:00PM. Although we are no longer able to donate gently used clothes will are still, as of now able to visit the kids with their families in their rooms. On this visit we will be taking brand new stuffed animals to the children along with smiles and love that will certainly cheer them up. Once again we will be lead by Francis whom all of us just love.

Each visit to Shriner’s is just so awesome and each time we all leave with such a awesome feeling and I am so excited and thrilled to be able to return to the hospital once again to be of service to some awesome kids and their families. To be able to do this with people who are my friends is just priceless. I truly love what I have created with my organization.

Friday was so powerful for me, because it was the return of my Conversations with Kengi and I was so looking forward to doing this interview. Even though I had scheduled some interviews that were supposed to take place with other people who flaked, this one was so special and meant so much to me. I am not sure why that is, but Pat just stroke a cord with me from the very first time I met her. We met at the clinic, in fact we share the same doctor. She heard me talking on  the phone about an event I was planning and she asked for my number. We chatted a few times and did all the texting and things like this and each time there was just something about her. So by the time the day came around to do the interview with her I must say I was so excited. Just like I was when I did the interview with Trav. I just knew it would be right. It would be real and people would just embrace and love her for who she is and what she has to share.

I had no idea what was in store, but I knew I would be blessed by her and that is what it was and so much more. Pat has such a powerful story and I have been asking God to show me someone with HIV who has not allowed it to make them a prisoner, someone filled with life and love, someone with a real purpose and powerful story. I wanted this person to be someone I could touch and God provided me with just what I asked.

It was so easy to speak with Pat, she is just this awesome woman with such a powerful story and the way she shared it was so natural and easy. What an awesome way to launch the return of Conversations with Kengi and what a huge blessing it is to know have this gift from God in my life.

I spent Saturday with my friend Niami doing a Do Something Saturday. Originally there supposed to be  others and it was taking place at Chess Park in Santa Monica, but just like always with people who do more talking then they do actually doing, they backed out with no explanation, but Niambi came through and I am really glad we had the time to spend time together talking about the organization and things taking place in both our lives. It’s been a while since I’ve seen her and we were able to talk over so things that could be breaking points in our friendship and I am so happy we had the chance to do this without the distraction of having others around

Like always Nimabi came with new donations that she purchased from Target for the Do Something Kits and once again she also had donations from her friends and co-workers as well. She even took the time like she always does to allow me to film her and share her views and insights into why she supports my organization. She later even started to interview me that will we continue the next time we see each other.

The plan was to find Judy and get a sleeping bag to David, both were a bust, but we did pick up 40 burgers from Jack in the Box to feed some homeless people. Before I knew it the day was over and Niambi and I were saying goodbye, but this time  Niambi had the chance to experience Do Something Saturday the way I started it. Simply walking and asking homeless people if they were hungry and if we could give them some food. What an awesome day.

Saturday afternoon and night was all for me. I spent time in the gym and talking to my friend Christina and then to my friend Jack. I then took a long hot bubble bath filled with candle light, jazz music and glass of red wine. I read a few pages from my E. Lynn Harris book and then made a 90 Days of Loving Me video where I shared my thoughts and then a prayer. I slept like a baby.

Sunday was an added outreach that I decided to do at the last minute. I wanted to prepare a home cooked Sunday Dinner for homeless people. I’ve done this before and each time it is such a huge success and today was no different. I was up early to shop for the food and I then spent the rest of day cooking until it was time to pack things up and pass out the food. I made a videos of the entire day, so be sure to check them out. Sunday really rocked and it was an awesome way to start my new week.

Today I spent my day doing what some have called a waste of time, even pointless. There are those who have said what I do and what I have created is all part of my “backward thinking” and then people have said what I do as “a shameful waste of time helping the scum of the earth” Well I was once considered that “scum” and I in many ways people still view me as such, but I know that helping people is never wrong, reaching out to lend a hand as best I can to someone in need is never a waste of time and showing up for life is never “backwards”

I know that when you reach out to someone in love, respecting who they are, where they are and asking  how can I help will always be the right thing to do. No matter who says it is wrong, which city makes it against the law or who tried to spend in the way. Love is never wrong, love is never a waste of time, love is never backwards, so I am glad I spent my Sunday doing things in LOVE not because I am so great, but because it is the right thing to do and LOVE will always find a way.

Tomorrow is Monday and I will be up early to hit the gym and then head over to the doctor to get my flu shot. I will spend some time working on my October 24, outreach as well as start sending out letter for my two Thanksgiving outreaches for homeless people and people living with HIV and AIDS.

You see what I cant allow HIV to hold my captive and why I refuse to be a victim to any disease? I have way to much shit to do. There is a great big world out there and I refuse to spend it being a prisoner to some disease locked inside some thing called “community” while ignoring HUMANITY and my awesome life.

There is a world out there waiting for you to explore it. So break out and explore.