Posts Tagged ‘LIVING’

Life Goes On

// June 11th, 2010 // 1 Comment » // HIV and AIDS, Me Time

I’ve been busy with LIVING and making sure I am surrounding myself with people who are all about LIVING instead of people who have allowed the fact that they have HIV or AIDS change the path of their life.

So many times I read blogs from people with HIV or AIDS there is always this “poor me” or “victim” tone to them. I must also say that more then 99.9% of the time this only comes from gay men. When I read the blogs of others (heterosexuals) I dont get this at all.

In the time that I have been on this site I have seen some pretty mean and nasty people here who go out of their way to make people feel bad. It’s funny to me how this is done with the mask of “let me help you”

The one thing I have never lost sight of since I was diagnosed with HIV is the clear and undeniable fact that I still have a life to live. Unlike most, I was already battling so much when I was diagnosed….Sickle Cell, Cancer and I was already over a year into homelessness, but I refused to allow any of this, including HIV turn me into one the people I see so much in support groups both on and offline.

I learned right away that the support I would get from so called “support” groups both online and off was not going to work for me. So I needed to do what I have always done…..LIVE and keep LIVING no matter what was going on in my life.

It’s always funny to me how I hear all this crap about stigma surround HIV and AIDS, but the most stigma I’ve faced have come from the gay “community”

I guess what I am saying is this, why does life have to stop when you’re diagnosed HIV positive? Why do we make things harder then they actually are? How are we ever going to move forward past our diagnoses when we refuse to LIVE the amazing lives we still very have? Maybe all that seems to be going wrong in our lives has nothing to do with HIV or AIDS and more far more to do with the fact that we were unhappy, crappy, mean and disconnected people to begin with, but now we can blame it all on HIV or AIDS.

Since my birth over 41 years ago, I made the choice to live against all the odds. Sickle Cell was not going to control my life. When cancer came along, I fought harder and made up in my mind that cancer was not going to win either and now here I stand with 5 battles behind me. Homelessness tried very hard to defeat me and I will be the first to admit that there were times when I was so beat down that I felt like giving up, but I didn’t. Homelessness then got some help from HIV, poor access to care, lousy services and much more, but once again my will to live and get through the storm in my life was far greater then anything any of these things could throw at me.

In a little more then two weeks I will celebrate one year of living in my own apartment. One year of no longer being homeless, one more year of refusing to give up on me, one more year of an amazing life for which I am so humbled, blessed and grateful to have.

So instead of moaning and groaning about how bad your life is since your diagnoses, why not look for the awesome things that are in your life? Why not tell HIV and AIDS to kick rocks and start LIVING your amazing life?

Don’t let another day go by that you forget to LIVE, because LIFE GOES ON!!!!